It was the day of the Oskaloosa Duals. Not all that great of a day for me. I went 2-3 that day in five dual matches. I pinned a kid on the Oskaloosa JV squad & then I lost 20-11 to Nate Nicholson of Ottumwa. Chris Dunkin of Knoxville pinned me in the third period with only a few seconds left to go on the clock. I was beating Brett Allison of Tri County 9-4, when he headlocked me & pinned me late in the second period. I went & got dressed and came back out in my street clothes. I told my head coach that I wasn't going to wrestle in the last dual. He didn't say anything to me as my assistant coach grabbed me by the arm & took me into the locker room. I'll never forget that moment as long as I live.
He picked up a trashcan & threw it across the floor. He then told me that I had to go out and do something for him that I've never done in my entire career. He said to me, "You gotta go out there and wrestle." It confused me because I was a senior, nearing the end of my career. I'd been on the wrestling team since I was a freshman. I told him that wrestling was what I did. He said back to me, "no you don't. What you do is you go out there scared to death. You go out there not to lose." When he said that I realized he was right. That is how I wrestled most of my matches. He then said back to me, "not this next match. Not this time. This time you're gonna go out there & you're just gonna wrestle. You're not gonna worry about me, or Coach Kirby or your Dad. You're just gonna wrestle. Just wrestle. No thinking. Just wrestle."
The last match of the day I wrestled Troy Smith of Pella. It ended up being the best match I ever wrestled in my entire high school career. I beat him 9-6 & found out after my win that he was currently ranked by The Predicament. He marked the one & only time in my high school career where I defeated a ranked kid.
Looking back all these years later I realize that it wasn't nearly as bad of a day as I made it out to be. Nate Nicholson went on to qualify for state & he won the Greco-Roman that year. Chris Dunkin ended up taking fifth at State. Brett Allison had 100 career wins & was a sectional champion. I wrestled all three of them tough. I threw Nicholson in a headlock & got 2 back points. If it wasn't for a stupid move towards the end that cost me 5 points, he wouldn't have beaten me by such a large margin. The score was 4-2 at the time Dunkin pinned me. If I'd have avoided that headlock, I only would've lost by two points. I took Allison down three times that match. He was a very tough kid. I don't think he got taken down many times his senior year. And of course, I beat the #10 kid in the state.
But at the time, I was down & depressed about it. Of course when I got home I listened to an ass chewing from my Dad. I got headlocked three times that day. Nicholson, Dunkin & Allison all headlocked me. Nothing like being told how much of an idiot you are & that you might as well turn in your singlet & tell Kirby you're gonna join basketball. You obviously aren't tough enough to be a wrestler. That's fun to listen to for hours on end after you come home from a grueling wrestling tournament. "How can you get headlocked three times in the same day? It's obvious you're wasting your time at practice." God, I can picture him in the kitchen throwing laundry into the washing machine saying that exact phrase.
I went into the basement & laid down on the couch. It was early but I was exhausted. The doorbell rang but I didn't figure it was for me, so I didn't get up. Next thing I knew Dad came walking down the stairs. He flipped the light switch on & said to me, "There's someone here to see you."
I went up stairs wondering who in the Hell was there to see me. When I came to the door it was Gerad Clingan. A sophomore on the wrestling team. I didn't even realize that he knew where I lived.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him.
"I'm having a party out at my place tonight." He said to me. "You're coming. Come on. Get in."
"I don't know if my Dad will let me."
I looked back at my Dad.
"You do what you want." A response meaning that since I wrestled like shit that day (at least in his opinion) I could pack my bags & go live in Mexico the rest of my life for all he cared.
I got into Gerard's truck & away we went.
"I thought you said your Dad was really against partying and stuff." He said to me as we headed down the road.
"He is." I said back. "But he knows me. He knows I'm not gonna drink or do drugs. He knows I'm not like that."
"Good" Gerard said back to me. "Cause this is a sex only party."
It made me laugh. It was the first time I had laughed all day. It was the first time I had felt good all day. Upsetting the #10 ranked kid in the state should've made me feel good, but I've always had trouble focusing on the positive. All I could think of was my three losses.
"Who's all coming?" I asked him.
He rattled off some names. Laci Patterson, Dustin Vermillion & a few others. He then said he was gonna call Monica Conger to see if she wanted to come out. He called her on his phone & put her on speaker. When I talked, she was like, "Who is that?" I began to joke around & say some really weird shit in a weird accent. She kept asking who is this?
I don't know why but the first name that popped into my head was a UC Davis wrestler by the name of Jeremiah Jarvis & I told her my name was Jeremiah Jarvis.
When we got to her house to pick her up I'll never forget what he said to her.
She asked him, "Whose all gonna be there?"
Gerad gave her the same answer that he gave me.
"Is your mom gonna be there?" She asked
"No." Gerad answered. "That way we can get naked."
I laughed again for the second time that night. It felt good to laugh.
When we got to Gerard's house, Monica walked in ahead of us & I can remember Gerard saying to me that he wanted me to have a good time tonight. To enjoy myself & not be afraid to smile. Not be afraid to laugh.
And I did. I had a really, really good time that night. Got to know Bobbi Burdock a bit that night. Hung out with Dustin Vermillion, Monica & Gerad. Can't say Laci ever thought much of me or me much of her, but hey, can't win em all.
Looking back it is one of my favorite memories of high school.
I remember Gerard giving me & Monica a ride home. He dropped her off first & then me. He said to me something I don't think many would have had the courage to say. He told me that I wasn't near as weird & strange of a kid as some made me out to be. That I really was a cool kid & that he was glad he knew me. He looked up to me on the wrestling team & said he thought I took my role as captain very seriously.
I went out to Gerard's house probably a half a dozen more times after that. His Grandpa owned a farm with deer & a large pond. He had a dock that we'd jump off of.
Gerard was a good friend to me during that time in my life. I think he saw that a lot of the seriousness about me, the label some gave me of being "a 40 year old man trapped in a 18 year old's body" had a lot to do with the pressure & judgement of trying to please an unpleasable father.
In this life you get to know a lot of people. Some aren't worth it. Some are. Gerard Clingan was worth it.
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