You're going to be an uncle!

 Christmas break 1999.  I was in the 8th grade and enjoying my break from school. After spending some time at a friend's, I walked into my Dad's house and took my shoes off at the door. Hearing my arrival, my Dad popped his head out of the living room and said, "get in here." 

By the tone of his voice, I knew this meant get in here as quickly as possible. I walked into the living room confused and scared. He was obviously angry about something.  I started thinking about what it could possibly be. I had been doing well in school. I hadn't done anything that I thought would constitute such a reaction. 

"Sit down!"

Now I was really worried.  I watched him pace back and forth on the living room floor.  One end of the room to the other. When he did that, you knew you had really messed up. You were about to get it.  I still had no idea what I had done, but I knew even without knowing what it was, I already regretted it. 

"I'm going to ask you a question, and you better not lie to me," he said. 

"Ok," I responded. 

"You better not lie to me when I ask you this question," he repeated. "I'm telling you right now, Jack, you do NOT want to lie to me about this." 

If Dad was calling you Jack, you knew he meant business. It was his way of letting you know that on a scale of 1-10 on how much trouble you were in, you were sitting at a 15. What could this possibly be about? What was this horrible thing that I had done? 

"Did you know your sister was pregnant?" 

That was not the question I was expecting from him. 

"No," I answered. 

"You better pray that you didn't know anything about it." 

He sat down in his blue recliner and began rocking back in forth. I didn't know anything about it. My sister had graduated high school early and moved out of the house. The first time I heard anything about her being pregnant was my Dad asking me about it. I wasn't even sure if my mom and my stepdad were aware of it. 

He continued rocking back and forth for a while.  He'd shake his head, mumble something to himself and smirk. That was the pouring of the gasoline. The collecting of the grenades.  It was only a matter of time before the match was lit and the pens were pulled. 

"I found out from guys at work," He said. "Can you believe that? My coworkers knew before I did." 

His fist came down fast and hard on the night stand next to his chair. He stood up and as I froze in fear, inches from my face he began screaming at me at the top of his lungs. 

"I told you!" He screamed. "I told you!  I f'n told you, Jack!" 

He grabbed some magazines that sat on a coffee table, ripped them in half and then threw them against the wall. 

"I told you!!" His voice was at a shriek by this point. "I told you that your sister would end up dead, in jail or pregnant! I told you! Didn't I tell you!" 

At this point you never knew what your best response was going to be.  Sometimes responding to him pissed him off. He saw it as a sign of disrespect, as if you were mouthing off to him. Yet sometimes being silent pissed him off even more. He sat back down in his chair, taking a quick breather from his rant.  

All I could think of was how thankful I was that my sister was pregnant, all things considered. If the only other two options were either death or prison, it was the best of the three. As much as I hated sitting on that couch getting screamed at by my father, for my sister's actions, it sure beat the Hell out of the alternatives. 

The next three hours I got hear all about an assortment of fun topics. How this all came about as a result of my mom and stepdad's shitty parenting. How if I had any brains in my head and if I didn't want to end up like my sister, I'd move in with him and have nothing to do with them. My sister had it made and now her life was going to be nothing but challenge and struggle till the day she died. This was going to prevent her from getting a four-year college degree, and without that, your life has no choice but to amount to didly shit. I better not F up. If my Dad knew anything, his daughter f'd up and his son wasn't going to. 

9 months later, one of the greatest things to ever happen in my family's life took place on August 12th, 2000.  My nephew Garrett Steven Rosenow was born. (For clarification his middle name has nothing to do with me. His Dad's middle name is Steven.)  His birth truly was a blessing in so many ways.  While my sister will always remain bitter and jealous over not getting to chase her dreams of becoming a fashion designer, Garrett truly is the best thing that ever happened in her life. She was an outstanding mother (as she also is to her two daughters) to him and raised him to become an outstanding person, that I couldn't be more proud of.  My mom was still sore from having lost my other sister 2 and a half years earlier, and Garrett coming into her life was a windfall.  Before Garrett was born, my Grandpa had talked about getting a dog to cope with loneliness. Instead, he got a great grandson, and if anything kept him happy, healthy and young, that was it.  Garrett's Dad hadn't spoken to his Dad in many years, and Garrett was the one that reconstructed what seemed to be an unrepairable bridge.  I don't know if Garrett is aware of it or not, but he was the why of many good things happening in the lives of those around him. Including me. 

It wasn't long after Garrett's birth that my first year of high school was about to begin. My friend Clint had his mom drive him into town so we could walk to the first football game of the season together.  We'd drive him home after the game.  As Clint and I prepared to walk to the game, my Dad came up to us and asked Clint if he'd wait outside for me for a minute. 

"Sit down," he said to me. 

I sat. 

"You're a freshman in high school now," he said. "You're going to have a lot of temptations." 

He paused a moment and smiled. 

"You know," he began again. "I'm not even sure if I really need to say this to you or not, but I'm going to. You're gonna be tempted. Girls...all sorts of stuff." 

For a moment I thought the birds and the bees talk, which I'd already been through with my mom and stepdad was coming on. Instead, we were going to have a very clear understanding. 

"Hear me now," He said to me. "If I ever catch you drinking...If I ever catch you at a party...If I ever catch you doing anything sexual with a girl... That's it.  You'll never step on to a wrestling mat again.  You'll never step onto a stage again.  Wrestling, theatre, done.  You understand me?" 

I nodded. At that time in my life wrestling and theatre were the two most important things in the world to me. I wasn't going to get caught up in alcohol.  All the goals I had as a wrestler, I wasn't going to risk that.  As awkward and goofy looking as I was, I couldn't even remotely fathom any girls letting me within 5 feet of them. So, I wasn't too worried about that.  Besides after going through what I went through after my Dad found out my sister was pregnant, I didn't want to even imagine what it would've been like had it ever been me. I loved being an uncle to Garrett, but I was in no hurry to become a dad. 

I wonder sometimes if I had knocked up a girl while in high school if my Dad would've sat and screamed at my sister for hours about it.  I doubt it. I don't think he ever took out his anger over my actions on her.  He rarely ever took out his anger of her actions on her.  That was all saved for me.  Lucky me. 

No Tell, No Yell

 I was sleeping sound in my bed, when I heard the slam of our heavy wooden front door.  The slurred whispers of my sister and the neighbor girl, as they drunkenly stumbled through our front room.  I got out of bed, threw on a t-shirt and went downstairs to see what was happening. 

By the time I arrived, my mother and Stepfather were already up. Before I could be briefed on the situation, my mom looked at me and ordered me back upstairs.  To her, none of this was any of my concern and I could go back to bed. 

I took a good look at my sister and her friend before begrudgingly going back up the stairs. They both had cuts on their faces and arms. Bruises on the bodies. I listened as best I could to my mom scold my sister on how lucky she was that her injuries weren't worse. How she or her friend could've been killed. How she was lucky this happened so close to home and how the authorities would not be notified. 

Then I heard the tractor start up. We lived on about 7 acres, right on the edge of town.  My stepdad would often bring a tractor into town and hookup a huge lawnmower to it.  Luckily for my sister, the tractor was at our house that day. 

Here it was about 3 in the morning and my stepdad was taking the tractor down the road to pull our now totaled Chevy Celebrity out of the ditch.  One of the many times in our lives he saved us from further consequence or humiliation. 

I continued to listen to my mother scold my sister, even angrier that she now had to take the two girls over to the neighbors house and explain to her parents all that had transpired. 

I went back to bed having a hell of a time trying to get back to sleep.  This was the second time my sister had been in a drunk driving incident and I was pretty sure it wouldn't be the last either.  The first one had happened out in the middle of nowhere where on a gravel road.  There were no real consequences for that one either.  

By the time I finally did fall asleep my mom was in my room waking me up. 

"There's no need to go and tell your father about this," She said to me. "That'll just make things worse. Your sister is going through a lot right now, she doesn't need to deal with your Dad on top of it." 

I wasn't 100% sure why my sister was doing the things she was doing. According to her, it was because unlike her weird younger brother, she actually cared about being well liked and popular among her classmates. Partying and getting hammered was how you fit in. A loser like me wouldn't know anything about it. 

My mom's explanation for it contradicted what my sister said. My mom thought her rebellious nature was a combination of two things. For one, my sister's class was very clicky. When my sister was younger, up through JR High, she had always been among the female jocks.  She did dance, softball, volleyball and track. Then a series of injuries, kept her from those activities when she got older. She first had to have a giant cyst cut out of her hand. This meant no hitting a volleyball and no catching a softball. She even had to give up playing the trumpet in the band. As a result, many of those friends stopped including her in activities. Their get togethers excluded my sister. Soon thereafter she began to hang with a more rebellious crowd. I'm not convinced that she wouldn't have still turned to drinking and partying. Plenty of jocks still did plenty of both. 

As to the other reason? Mom thought it was also a result on how hard and critical my Dad was of my sister. At that time in our lives, I was doing very well in both wrestling and baseball. It'd be a while before I broke my back and all of those hopes died their slow, torturous death. At the time I was projected to have a very solid and respectable high school Wrestling career. 

My Dad was always bragging about me and talking me up to others. Not my sister, not at that time. If he wasn't ragging on her for her mediocre grades, then he was hounding her for something else. 

Were those the answers? I don't know. Looking back now, I wonder if my other sister's death had something to do with it. When my other sister died, it severely effected me. I mean it completely changed who I was and how I looked at life.  I went from a carefree little boy, into a take everything way to serious teenager overnight.  My sister on the surface seemed to only grieve as you would a normal death. You cry, you bury, and then you move on with life.  Looking back now, I wonder if a part of her turning to drinking, getting behind the wheel of a car drunk, as if she had no concern at all of the "what ifs". I wonder if it might have been her way of dealing with our other sister's death. 

I didn't end up telling my Dad about the incident and it wasn't to protect my sister. It was to protect me. At the time I was in a Oskaloosa Community Play and I was having the time of my life. It was such a fun and rewarding experience.  I knew that if my Dad found out about my sister's drunk driving incident, that it would put him in a sour mood. She wouldn't be around for him to yell and scream at, but I would be.  Even though a part of me wanted to see my sister come to terms with actions having consequences, I knew the real sufferer would end up being me if I talked. I kept my mouth shut and the play turned out to be a memory nearly 27 years later I still cherish. 

I don't miss being put in these types of predicaments. They weren't everyday occurrences, but they weren't exactly rarities either. They happened more often than I would've liked them to have.  I enjoy being an adult more than I did being a kid. Paying taxes is a drag, as are some of the other responsibilities.  That's a fact. No longer getting yelled and screamed at for someone else's mess ups? That's a fact too. 

CENTRAL EMPIRE WRESTLING NEWSLETTER

 

Central Empire Wrestling is about to embark on it's 19th Anniversary show!  Starting off small in a pole barn out in the middle nowhere in between Keota & Wellman, Iowa, Austin Bayliss had a dream.  A vision of one day running a successful independent professional wrestling organization.  Here he is nearly two decades later, that dream now a reality. 

A lot of talent comes and goes in twenty years.  New stars emerge, while old stars seem to fade into wind. Today we take a look at 9 former CEW superstars and what they are up to today. 

CEW MOURNS THE LOSS OF "THE UNDERDOGG"

MAJOR PAYNE MAKES MAJOR BUCKS SELLING BEAUTY PRODUCTS! 

CHIEF HONORS HIMSELF WITH WRESTLER OF THE YEAR AWARD

ACE IS WILD IN VEGAS

GET OUT OF SHAPE WITH SAM MOON!

FORMER TAG TEAM CHAMPS OPEN ANIMAL RESCUE

THE KING FINALLY FINDS HIS QUEEN

JT1Wrestle's Final ACC Predictions

 NCAA DI QUALIFIER 

125
1. Eddie Ventresca Virginia Tech
2. Vince Robinson North Carolina State
3. Nico Provo Stanford
4. Kysen Terukina North Carolina
5. Tyler Chappell Pittsburgh
6. Keyveon Roller Virginia 

133
1. Aaron Seidel Virginia Tech
2. Tyler Knox Stanford
3. Ethan Oakley North Carolina
4. Zach Redding North Carolina State 

141
1. Ryan Jack North Carolina State
2. Jack Consiglio Stanford
3. Tom Crook Virginia Tech
4. Luke Simcox North Carolina
5. Briar Priest Pittsburgh
6. Gable Porter Virginia 

149
1. Collin Gaj Virginia Tech
2. Koy Buesgens North Carolina State
3. Anthony Valencia Stanford
4. Kade Brown Pittsburgh
5. Wynton Denkins Virginia 

157
1. Daniel Cardenas Stanford
2. Ethen Miller Virginia Tech
3. Dylan Evans Pittsburgh
4. Laird Root North Carolina 
5. Colton Washleski Virginia 

165
1. Bryce Hepner North Carolina
2. E.J. Parco Stanford
3. Will Denny North Carolina State
4. Mac Church Virginia Tech
5. Jared Keslar Pittsburgh

174
1. Luca Augustine Pittsburgh
2. Matty Singleton North Carolina State
3. Aidan Wallace Duke
4. Sergio DeSiante Virginia Tech
5. Nick Hamilton Virginia 

184
1. Jaden Bullock Virginia Tech
2. Chase Kranitz Pittsburgh
3. Abraham Wojcikiewicz Stanford
4. Jake Dailey North Carolina 
5. Don Cates North Carolina State 

197
1. Mac Stout Pittsburgh
2. Angelo Posada Stanford
3. Sammy Sasso Virginia Tech
4. Patrick Brophy North Carolina State 

HWT
1. Isaac Trumble North Carolina State
2. Dayton Pitzer Pittsburgh
3. Jimmy Mullen Virginia Tech
4. Connor Barket Duke
5. Brenan Morgan Virginia 

Stephen Stonebraker's 2026 Baseball Schedule

 
SUN MARCH 29th - UCLA @ Iowa 11 a.m. 
SAT APRIL 4th - Indian Hills @ Kirkwood 1:00 p.m. & 3:30 p.m. 
SUN APRIL 19th - Ellsworth @ Kirkwood 1:00 p.m. 
SUN APRIL 26th - Iowa Central @ Kirkwood - Noon
SUN MAY 3rd - Illinois @ Iowa 1:00 p.m. 

Stephen Stonebraker's Fall Schedule

 

SUNDAY AUG 31st 1:00 p.m. - Iowa Field Hockey Vs North Carolina 

SATURDAY SEPT 6th 1:00 p.m. & 3:30 p.m. - Coe Soccer (M&W) Vs Crown 


SATURDAY SEPT 13th 8:00 pm. Iowa Theater = Drag'daLore 

SATURDAY SEPT 20th 2:00 p.m Mount Mercy Volleyball Vs Mid American Nazarene
SATURDAY SEPT 20th 8:00 p.m. Iowa Theatre = 2006 

SATURDAY SEPT 27th 12 p.m.  Kirkwood Volleyball Vs Prairie State
SATURDAY SEPT 27th 8:00 p.m.  Iowa Theatre = A Starry Knight 

SATURDAY OCT 4th 12 p.m. Mount Mercy Volleyball Vs Central Methodist 12 p.m. 
SATURDAY OCT 4th Iowa Theatre = Earthus Terminus 

SATURDAY OCT 11th Coe Swimming & Diving Vs Illinois College 2 p.m. 

How Does an Agnostic End Up At One Of Iowa's Most Religious Colleges?

 There's no denying it.  I am an anomaly. Since day one, my life hasn't made much sense. There are a lot of things about me people find peculiar.  Things about who I am and my past that puzzle people. One of which, is how I, an agnostic, ended up at Northwestern College, one of Iowa's most religious institutions. It even dumbfounds me at times.  Who I am now. The way I think about things. The philosophies and perspectives I have. The soon to be 40 year old Stephen Stonebraker never would have ended up at a place like Northwestern College. So how did the 18 year old me end up there? 

I Was a Different Person at the Time

There was a time in my life where I was deeply religious.  A time in my life where I went to Church every Sunday, prayed every night and encompassed a lot of my life around the Christian faith.  I was never very vocal about it.  I wasn't one of these people that constantly had to reassure everyone around me that I was a Christian. I wore a St. Christopher necklace every day and if you really want to have your mind blown, I even considered going to seminary at one point.  That's a story for another day, but it is true. 

I Was Very Depressed and Suicidal at the Time Too 

I did my best to hide it and keep it from others, but during high school I was severely depressed.  I was suicidal as well. Once even standing on a bridge, on a cold February day, nearly all of the day, contemplating jumping. A lot of things weren't going right in my life. I had a lot of guilt over my sister Sydney's death and I had failed at my goals as a high school wrestler. There were many nights when I'd sit up at night and wonder why I felt the way I did.  Why did I feel so horrible? Why did I hate myself and hate my life? 

We'll come back to this in a bit.

Northwestern Had a Reputable Theatre Program

I made up my mind when I was very young that what I wanted to do with my life was be a screenplay writer.  Since about seven years old, I loved the idea of seeing characters and scenarios that came out of my head on the movie screen or the television.  When I got a little older, I'd even write my own episodes of some of my favorite TV shows.  Treatments, scripts, you name it, I daydreamed all the time.

Screenplay writing was a graduate degree though. Something you did post your undergrad.  That left me with a dilemma. What would I get my undergrad in? I looked into creative writing, but it too was a graduate degree.  So, what in the world would a guy who wanted to eventually get a degree in screenplay writing, study?  I thought the answer was theatre.  

We looked all around Iowa, as well as nearby Missouri and nearby Illinois for good theatre programs.  We narrowed it down to four institutions.  Northern Iowa, Northwestern, Luther and Simpson.  Northern Iowa was immediately eliminated because I was fearful of going to a larger college. I didn't know if I could perform well in a lecture hall setting.  

Why Northwestern over Luther and Simpson? 

This is a bit more complicated.  

I knew I wanted to focus on theatre and put my heart and work ethic into it.  On the same hand though, I love wrestling too much to completely stay away from it.  

At Luther, the head of the theatre seemed to have no interest in me at all.  I'd find out many years later in a long discussion with Professor Larson, that I misread him. He was trying to give me very valuable information, and I took it as an insult. I loved the wrestling coach, Coach Mitchell. He and I saw eye to eye.  He even talked to me about traveling with the wrestling team and being the media guy for the team. He knew my enthusiasm and passion for the sport.  He saw value in me, even if I weren't going to be an all star, All American for him.  

Ironically enough, Simpson was the exact opposite. I can't remember the head of the theatre's name, but he was extremely welcoming and seemed like he couldn't wait to get me aboard as a member of the theatre.  Coach Ron Peterson was an interested in me as is a shark in a piece of lettuce.  I had never gone to state; I had never accomplished anything in wrestling. I was a waste of his time. Feel free to buy a ticket and watch us wrestle if you want but keep your distance. I don't need your suckage potentially leaking on to my team. 

Northwestern on the surface seemed the goldilocks. Karen and Jeff Barker, the heads of Northwestern Theatre were very welcoming people.  I still think pretty highly of the Barkers, especially Karen.  I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, but I will say she tried really hard to get the other kids to accept me, and take in someone who didn't fit the mold. I will always appreciate that about her. 

As to the wrestling coach, I don't think I could have found a better fit to the awkward situation I was in.  Coach Paul Barteltt got it.  As complicated and nonsensical as it was, I could not have asked for someone to be better to me than what Coach Bartlett was.  I was a messed up individual, and I needed someone like him in my life at the time.  He wanted me to be a part of his wrestling program.  To my surprise, he even wanted me on the team, as a wrestler.  Even offering me a partial scholarship. He made it clear I was welcome in the wrestling room anytime I wanted to be there. Covering the team, helping recruit, being at the matches.  He wanted me a part of Northwestern Red Raider wrestling.  I wish mentally I would have been in a place at the time to have done so.  Again, another story for another day. 

Back to the Depressed and Suicidal Part

Yes, Northwestern College having a reputable theatre department, along with the Barkers and Coach Bartlett were pieces of the puzzle that lead me to Northwestern College, but in essence there was one reason why Northwestern got the nod over everywhere else. 

I asked myself a couple of questions.  Why do I feel the way I feel?  Why have all of these horrible things happened to me?  The answer I came up with?  Obviously, I'm not a good person. I try and be, but obviously I'm not. Why else would these horrible things happen to me?  Why else would I feel as I do? 

What's wrong with me?  At the time I thought it has to be the fact that I'm not a good enough Christian.  I must not be doing enough to please God and make him happy with me.  What can I do to be a better Christian? 

Going to a Christian College!  That has to be the answer!  I want to get closer to God? I want to be a better Christian?  Be and do as God wants?  Northwestern College is the answer! 

Camp Okoboji 

I don't think I'll ever have a situation in my life where expectation and reality are further apart, than what they were at Northwestern.  I get asked sometimes, what was I expecting?  I can tell you exactly what I expected. 

Even today, as an agnostic, I can look you in the eye and tell you that one of my fondest memories in life was going to Church camp in sixth grade.  It was a week-long camp where I had the time of my life.  I wish I remembered my camp counselor's name.  I think it was something like Jason Jakes, or Jacks, or Jaacks or something like that.  I've tried looking him up many times over the years, but I've never been able to find him. Cool guy. Really enjoyed him. The overall experience of that camp was very rewarding. So rewarding in fact, that nearly 30 years later, I still have vivid memories. 

That's what I thought Northwestern College was going to be like. If being wrong were measured in distance, I thought I was in Ushuaia, Argentina. I was actually in Ellesmere Island, Northern Canada. 


And that's the story of how I ended up at Northwestern College.