It began as a practical joke, but by the end of the day, nobody was laughing. It seemed innocent enough at first, because Jerry and I have a history of playing practical jokes on one another. He was the one to start the whole thing, if I'm not mistaken. He thought it'd be funny to try and ruin my whole day by embarrassing me in a multitude of ways. Jenny Young, the best looking girl in our class had recently broken up with her boyfriend Kelly Hughes. Kelly, captain of the football team. Arrogant & cocky. The type that always picks on the frail little skinny dudes like me. You know the type. Jerry thought it'd be funny to put a note in Jenny's locker. A little love poem of infatuation. I'm not sure if the local police would do anything but laugh, but correct me if I'm wrong that forgery is not a federal offense.
Just what I needed, public humiliation & a death sentence. I'm used to people laughing at me for one reason or another. Can't afford a real haircut so my mother often takes out the hair clippers & does a fine job of showing the world on my head why the state of Massachusetts would sooner give Yoko Ono a license to sing before it'd give her one to cut hair. Years ago I tried growing my hair out but my father thinks anything above a half an inch makes a guy look womanly. By God it's fine that our mother won't let any of us boys play football, but no son of his is gonna look like a sissy.
As I walked around the lunch room I caught a lot of stares and a lot of giggles. It'd been about two weeks since the last time my mother took to my head like Picasso with a weedwhacker. So, I knew it wasn't my haircut. I wondered if maybe I had a rip in my blue jeans in the butt or crotch area. I carefully examined to discover that I didn't. For the life of me I couldn't understand the giggles & the stares.
That's when Jerry came and sat down next to me. He tried to hide the big goofy grin on his face but I knew as soon as I saw him that even though I had no idea what was going on, I knew that he had something to do with it.
"Max my main man!"
"Jerry....."
He went about his business biting into his cheddar-wurst as if he were completely oblivious to the giggles and stares. I starred him down as he jovially chewed.
"Kelly!" Jerry spit out his hot dog. I turned to meet Kelly face to face.
"Think you're some sorta hot shot huh Maximilian?"
Too confused to answer & too fearful to speak I starred back at him hoping that whatever I had done, a lecture would suffice.
"Put a love letter in my girl's locker?" He kept speaking as I turned to look at Jerry. "Hey boy! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
I turned my attention back to Kelly.
"Yeah, you put a love letter in my locker & then sign up for track tryouts in MY event!?!?!"
"Kelly.....I..."
He slammed his fist down on the table before I had a chance to finish.
"Look here Maxi pad!" His voice wasn't loud but it was deliberate. "That's the last love letter you ever write Jenny & I'll run circles around you at the track tryouts."
He walked away as I turned to Jerry.
"Are you trying to get me killed?"
"What are you talking about?"
If there's anything I hated about Jerry worse than the pranks he pulled it was his pathetic attempt at acting as if he had nothing to do with them. I got up from the table having yet to have touched any of my food & took it to the trash.
I was headed out the door. I had never left school before it had ended before. It wasn't so much discipline as it was ability. My parents had one car between the two of them & neither I or my older brothers ever got use of it. We rode the bus or on occasion Dad would come pick us up. It all depended on his mood & when he took his daily breaks. There's nothing like living on a huge cranberry farm out in the middle of nowhere, where you don't own a single thing. Not even the little built for one person house that you & four other people crammed into. Mom didn't work at all & as a farm hand Dad made they type of wage that junior high kids looking for their first wage scoff at. Hell, the only reason we had a car at all was because the farmer got tired of running his own errands.
We lived 10 miles outside of town. If I took off right now, I'd be home in time to be about a half hour late for supper.
"Max!"
I turned around to see Coach Benson, the track coach with a big smile on his face.
"Max!" He said my name again in the spirit that I hadn't heard him the first time. "I see you're trying out for the 100 meter later today."
I'm American, I have no idea what the Hell a meter is. The only thing I remembered about the metric system is that we didn't use it.
"I'm glad to see that." He continued. "I've seen you in P.E. a few times. You're quick & you're fast."
Not exactly what I was expecting to hear.
"Mr. Benson..."
"Coach"
"Coach Benson" I began again, "The bus is my only way home. I live about 10 miles west of town."
"On Harley Haas' cranberry farm right?"
"Yeah." Was he going to let me get this out or not? "I ride the bus. I have no other way home. I won't be able to make it to try outs."
"Can't your buddy Jerry give you a ride home?"
"Jerry's trying out for track?"
"No, but he's my stat boy for the year."
With that, I turned around and headed back in the lunch room. Jerry still sitting at the table. He had gone back to get seconds on the Cheddar-wurst. Hell, knowing Jerry maybe even thirds.
"You really have it out for me don't you Jerry?" I said to him hoping that at any second he'd start to choke on his cheese filled wiener.
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