Sunday, July 14, 2013

Stephen Stonebraker's Top 10 saddest movie scenes

A few days ago I read two other very well written essays regarding the same subject on itisgeektome.com.  I suppose if I were to say, "The saddest movies scenes ever" I would have to thoroughly do my best to critique scenes based on what situations and occurrences that we all find universally sad.  However this is my top 10 saddest scenes and while already a very subjective topic, will be even more so in how it gears towards my own experiences and how they specifically relate to me.

10.  "Saving Private Ryan" - Medic Wade explains the trick to falling asleep.
When you are as nostalgic of an  individual as I am, I wish I could tell you that all the memories you have are the fun and happy ones.  They're not.  You gotta take the bad with the good.  Memories of regrets for example are just as much a part of what you remember as are the joys.   In the scene, Wade explains to his fellow comrades that the best way to fall asleep is to try hard to stay awake.  He goes into further explanation that he used to pretend to be asleep when his mom would come home at night wanting to talk to him.   I think many of us look back at times during our adolescence and wish we would have been better to our mothers.  I know I certainly do.  What makes the scene even more wrenching for me is that you can feel Wade's yearning to fix the past.   He understands that he may not be given a chance for redemption, and as we later find out, he is not.

9. "The Never Ending Story" -  Atreyu can't save Falkor
Whether you take the scene literally or metaphorically, either way it is one that will easily reduce you to tears in what is an otherwise less than stellar movie.  If you've ever had a pet that you loved as family, watching a young man's beloved horse drown as he tries to save it is extremely difficult to watch.    If you look at the scene figuratively, it is just as difficult to endure.  We would all like to tell the rest of the world that we have never let life get the best of us.   We want to all put up the image that we are far too strong to have ever given in to the negative darkness that often comes to challenge us.  Depression, hopelessness are enemies that we often battle.   We don't always win those battles, and this scene reminds us heavily of that.

8.  "Field of Dreams" - "What happened between you and your father?"
"Field of Dreams" was one of the major influences I had when I wrote "Wrestling with Reasons".  People like to ask me, "What is your book about?" and one of the answers I often give is, "it is 'Field of Dreams' on the wrestling mat"  This scene in particular was the one that had the most impact on me and the story I wrote.   As they are riding from Minnesota to Iowa,  Terrence Mann asks Ray Kinsella what happened between him and his father.   Ray gives a sorrow filled dialog saying that he said something deeply regrettable to his father and that, "The son of a bitch died before I (he) could take it back".    The last thing I said about my sister Sydney before she died was how much I hated her and 15 years later it bugs me as much now as it did then.  Empathetically I relate on such a strong level to the character in this scene.  It gets me every time.

7.  "Turner and Hooch" - Hooch dies
There is a distinct reason I often call Tom Hanks one of the greatest actors that I have ever gotten to witness.  His ability to create such realistic emotions is second to absolutely no one.  Hooch not only saved Turner's (Hank's character) life once, but twice stopping Boyett from shooting him and then preventing Howard from shooting him.  When Turner rushes Hooch to the vet, trying to save his life in return I'm already in tears.  When Hooch dies on the table and Turner breaks down, I am balling like a baby.  The emotion of intense grief and guilt of not being able to save Hooch, as Hooch had saved him is honestly one that I will call one of Hank's best.  I've watched the movie over 25 times in my life, and challenged myself to have dry eyes at the end of that scene.  I've never won that challenge.

6.  "The Champ" - The Champ dies
People often like to question who are the greatest child actors?  Watch Ricky Schroeder's performance in "The Champ" and you'll be hard pressed to find many better.  I guess not only does it wrench away at my heart to watch a little boy cry at the death of his hero, but it also bothers me as the film reveals an ugly truth about reality that many don't want to be honest with themselves about.   Hard work, dedication and being a good person who does things as they ought to be done, doesn't always result in a happy ending.  Sometimes it doesn't make a difference how lousy of an individual you are, you have more of the physical abilities, you are going to win.  I guess I just like watching the good guy win.  I just like seeing the guy who deserves to, win.   It doesn't always work like that though, does it champ?

5.  "Forrest Gump" - Bubba dies
"Bubba was my best good friend and even I know that ain't something you can just find around the corner"   We often look at those with mental disabilities with such a great feeling of superiority.  We patronize them because they don't understand simple concepts the way that we do.  Funny though, how it is often them that we are far inferior to in terms of altruistic behavior and the ability to value one another.  The entire film Forrest is called, "stupid" when he proves through many scenes that he is anything but.   This scene I think does the best job of illustrating that.

4.  "My Girl" - Thomas J's death
Many of the scenes I have chosen revolve around the theme of regret.  Saying something to someone you wish you hadn't have said, and then they die before you have the opportunity to make things right.  Well, this scene is no different.   Veda is at the funeral of her best friend Thomas J, with far too many feelings that a young girl her age should never have to feel.  She is stricken with guilt about things that she had previously said to him and with the realization that she will never see her best friend again.   I've had to fast forward through this scene more than once.  There are times I just can't handle it.

3.  "American History X" - Danny's death
I personally believe that this film ought to be required viewing in every high school around the nation.  When Danny dies, Derek is overwhelmed with the fact that it is somehow, if not all connected to the racism and hatred that he had instilled within his brother.   He was trying so hard to fix and make things right, but in the end having already had to pay a hefty price, he pays the ultimate price.  As long as the world sees me first and foremost as a white male, and sees friends of mine first and foremost as black/yellow/red/Mexican/female/ect and stereotypes and preconceived notions are connoted with those descriptions,  we will see life often result in such circumstances.  The scene itself is already powerful enough.   Add in that it isn't as much fantasy as it is a real reflection of life and all of a sudden it is that much sadder of a scene. 

2.  "Of Mice and Men"  - George Shoots Lenny
Life isn't fair.  I could write a novel on all of the many things that are wrong with the world and all of the many ways in which it breaks my heart.  I could also sum it up by simply saying, "life isn't fair".  People often ask me, "Why did you stop being a Christian and start being an agnostic?"   Well it wasn't one particular instance at one particular time.  It was a series of circumstances, people I met and occurrences over a 9 year period accumulated altogether. Look at it if you will as a gigantic 200 piece jigsaw puzzle. Watching "Of Mice and Men" was  one of the pieces.   I can't think of a worse emotion to feel than hopelessness, especially when you've done all you can to make things right.  Knowing that George had never given up hope and kept a positive attitude regardless of how poor things seemed to be, makes this scene make me as pissed off as it does sad.  Why does life have to be so cold and cruel to George?  His dream was so simple and he had asked for so little.  Why does he have to be denied?  The scene works me up so much when I watch it, that I have vomited afterwards.  Life is not fair and I can't think of a time in cinema where it is better depicted.

1.  "Crash" - She saves her Daddy
As we grow aren't we supposed to progress as human beings?  In so many ways we do.   We continuously get smarter as we learn and relearn things every day.  Unfortunately though there are ways in which we grow dumber too.  Hatred is not something we are born with, it is something we have to learn and furthermore something we have to be taught.  The "smartest" character in the film is the little girl who saves her dad from being shot.   Watching her selfless act to protect her daddy is one that is hard to put into words.  The scene is so powerful.  Why is it that a little girl can come to such an heroic, selfless standing, when the adults in the film can't?   I see that in little kids all the time.  They see themselves and others as human beings, and nothing more/nothing less.  It deeply saddens me that they can see something at such a young age, that we unfortunately lose as we grow older.