Sunday, June 25, 2017

My Top 10 Least Favorite Sequels

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10. Halloween H20
I like the movie. I OWN the movie. I watch the movie a lot. On the surface it may not make much sense why I would would have it on my "least favorite" sequel list. Looking at it strictly as a sequel to Halloween II, it holds up incredibly well. Yet it blatantly ignored Halloween 4, Halloween 5 and Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers and this is where I have a problem with it. Yes Halloween 4 was mediocre at best, Halloween 5 is an atrocity of a film and Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is perhaps the greatest example of a film with incredible promise and potential that was ruined in execution by a dimwit director.

The fact of the matter is, Donald Pleasence aka Dr. Sam Loomis was a huge part of the Halloween series. And I feel that Halloween: H20 was a slap in the face to a man who had poured so much of himself into the series. Jamie Lee Curtis had been asked to be in other Halloween films in the past and she had always turned down the role, stating that she felt that her Halloween days were behind her and she had moved on to bigger and better things.  Donald Pleasence died in early February of 1995, and it was announced in December of 95 that there was going to be a new Halloween film and JLC would be returning. Suddenly her attitude was that Halloween made her a household name and she felt that she owed it to her fans to come back and do one last sequel.  That has always seemed very coincidental to me. The argument I hear a lot is that if Pleasence were still alive he would have been in H20, but I've never bought it. I do not think JLC would have been in a Halloween sequel, as long as she had to share the spotlight with Pleasence. The small tribute to Pleasence's famous monologue frin Halloween was better than nothing I suppose, but I still feel more could have been included. Donald Pleasence deserved a high prolific, positive send off and this is a reminder that he didn't get one.  And for JLC to say that she is glad she had nothing to do with the crappy "4-6" sequels that came after Halloween II,....news flash!! Halloween Ressurection that she did take part in was way worse than Halloween 4 and Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers and only slightly more watchable than Halloween 5. 

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9. Halloween III: Season of the Witch


It's really a shame that Halloween III: Season of the Witch is considered to be a sequel, because as a standalone film, it is actually pretty good. Take out the Halloween III part of the title and this film would easily be remembered as a solid 80's horror flick. Yet because it has Halloween III in the title, it is one of the most hated sequels in this modern history of film, let alone horror. Like everyone else who fell in love with the Michael Myers story of Halloween and Halloween II,  I was excited to see where the story was going to go next. Only Halloween III: Season of the Witch didn't have Michael Myers in it. It didn't even take place in Haddonfield, Illinois. It was a brand new story, with brand new characters and no one new what to make of it. It bombed at the box office and put John Carpenter into a bitter mood.

I can appreciate and understand what Carpenter was going for here. His goal was to make the Halloween series into an anthology series, where each year a new scary story would be released on or around Halloween with the title being Halloween (Subtitle).  It's a unique and interesting idea and it would have been interesting to have seen all the different films that would have been made and how long it would have lasted until it came to an end.

I feel Carpenter's main flaw in executing this idea was by having a direct follow up to Halloween that continued the Michael Myers story. I think if there was no Halloween II (which happens to be one of my favorite sequels of all time) that fans, including myself would have been more open and accepting of a new story.

Things were much different in the late 70's and early 80's than they are today, but I can't help but think Carpenter's vision would work in today's "information per second" age. If people were prepared and set up for an anthology series, I think it could work.  Nevertheless Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a good standalone film, and one of the worst sequels of all time....in my opinion.


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8. Bride of Chucky
If you can't tell by now, continuity is a huge thing with me. Many people think that my only biff with Bride of Chucky  is that it doesn't have Andy Barclay in it. And yes, I was disappointed that Barclay was not in the film, but there was more to it than that.  For one, I enjoyed the humor of the first three, and found the humor of Bride of Chucky to be more raunchy, cliched and what I like to call "junior high funny." I also didn't understand how the first couple of stories took place in Chicago, with Chucky's only way of getting out of the Good Guy Doll body was to perform the voodoo speech on the first person he revealed his true self to.....to now all of a sudden we're in New Jersey and he has to get an amulet that was never mentioned that he was buried with. Again continuity is a big thing with me.

If I separate Bride of Chucky from the other three films, I can sit down and enjoy it. I'll never find Jade or Jesse to be as interesting as Andy Barclay or even Nica Pierce, but they aren't as annoying and dull as I one time thought them as. I also find things about Bride of Chucky  that I really appreciate. For one, it was rewarding to get to see John Ritter in a role where he got to play a very unlikable antagonist. Being so used to seeing him as the "Heya Champ", "You bet sport" dad-like hero, it was fascinating to see him playing such an unlikable jerk.

Bride of Chucky led into Seed of Chucky which I couldn't even get all the way through. I was much happier to get Curse of Chucky which I thought was a pretty damn good sequel and I cannot wait until Cult of Chucky comes out! I haven't been this excited for a sequel in years!


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7. Beverly Hills Cop 3

I love the first two Beverly Hills Cop movies but the third installment did not do it for me. While it has an interesting premise, it failed to execute. For one, the character of Axel Foley seems to be much different in this installment than he was in the previous two films. Whereas he was smooth, cool and collected in I and II, making calculated, intelligent moves, in III he is off the wall, crazy and borderline dumb at times. I'm not sure whether this falls on bad writing on the part of the screenwriter, bad direction from the director or on the shoulders of Eddie Murphy himself. The usually energetic and witty Murphy seemed tired and lackadaisical. Apathetic compared to how he had been the first two films.

I also found the character of Jon Flint (Hector Elizondo) to be dull and boring compared to that of Sgt. Taggart (John Ashton). I also feel that the film was not edited well because there are scenes that suggest and even imply that Flint is a dirty cop on the side of the criminals, and yet at the end he ends up being a good guy.

The first two films were fun, well written and well acted. This one....wasn't. I think Murphy feels the same way as does Judge Reinhold, that the third film wasn't good and the BHC series needs a better send off. Here's to Beverly Hills Cop IV, if it is ever made being the awesome thrill ride that I and II were and being as far away from III as possible.

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6. Hannibal

I love Silence of the Lambs. I love Red Dragon too. I own both and I've sat down and watched both on several occasions. I saw Hannibal once and I don't care to ever see it again. Whereas the other two films in the series are mesmerizing, psychological thrillers this film seems nothing more than an attempt to gross out its audience.

Along with the disgusting factor, I also felt the film had Dr. Lector rely on luck and circumstance much more than he did his uncanny ability to outsmart like he did in the other two films. I didn't as much have a problem with Hannibal getting away as much as I did how he got away. In Silence of the Lambs, his escape is extraordinarily clever. In Red Dragon, even though it didn't work, his plan to upend Will Graham was still quite clever. In Hannibal, Clarice comes to his rescue and then in a scene that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever the butler pushes the disfigured man into the pig pen to be eaten alive. That scene alone, while not the only thing wrong with this movie, ruins it for me. There was no logical reason for him to do that. None whatsoever.

I do not like this film.





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5. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

A lot of people like to make the claim that Superman III is just as bad as IV, but it is not even comparable. IV is extremely bad. The story is bad. The acting is bad. The directing is bad. The special effects people should be drug out into the street and shot. This film lacks feeling, emotion, and any sense of life. Knock III till the cows come home if you wish, but at least it had some substance. I was thinking that the return of Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor would bring life back into the series, but it didn't. Whereas sidekick Otis was comic relief, Luthor's nephew Lenny (Jon Cryer) was annoying. Nuclear Man was painful to watch as well. The scene where Lacy is flown into space and she breathes and moves about normally bothered me too. Even III wouldn't have done anything that stupid.

Margot Kidder's and Mark McClure's involvement in the film comes off as obligated, rushed and insincere. The rekindling of Lois's and Clark's relationship was lit on a wick with no wax. It just wasn't there.

I pull this movie off the shelf every now and again to try and see if there is anything in it that can be its redeeming quality, its saving grace. Unfortunately all I see to do is find more wrong with it each time I watch it.

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4. Bloodsport 2: The Next Kumite
 This film is bad. Bad.  How in the Hell there were two more sequels after this one, I don't know. The direct to video B films couldn't have made much, if any money. Bloodsport is certainly no masterpiece of a movie. The acting is pretty awful and the film can picked apart for its flaws, but compared to this rubbish, it is a damned work of art.

My biggest problem with Bloodsport 2: The Next Kumite is that they completely changed the character of Ray Jackson. Why!?!!? Donald Gibb returned for the role of Jackson, why would you make the character completely different in part two than he was in part 1? Why!!?!? WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!? In part one he was a big, burly man with an outer tough man image and an interior of a good guy with a big heart and a genuine care for his friends. In part 2, he's just an asshole. Nothing likable about him at all and I don't get why they took what could have been the film's saving grace and ruined it.


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3. Karate Kid III
This film really, really ticks me off. I mean REALLY ticks me off. I realize that Karate Kid II wasn't exactly Shakespeare but it at least made a decent attempt to follow up the gem that was The Karate Kid.  I called Halloween H20 a slap in the face to Donald Pleasence. Well this film, was a kick in the nuts to The Karate Kid and Karate Kid II. 

The main problem with this film is continuity. Mr. Miyagi had spent a significant amount of time working with Daniel, teaching him not only about Karate but about life. Preparing him physically and mentally, as well as emotionally for life's challenges in the first two films. We watched as Daniel grew and progressed from Miyagi's guidance. Now all of a sudden in III, Daniel has seemingly forgotten everything that Miyagi has taught him. He's regressed into a whiny, scared and helpless pathetic little punk. And there is no reason or explanation for it.

He gets off a plane after fighting an extremely skilled Chozen in a death match in Okinawa to suddenly be scared to death by local tournament champion Mike Barnes? He can put on a decent fight, even defeat Chozen, but he can't even get a single hit in on Mike Barnes? This completely undermines the entire story of part II.

I'm asked when complaining about this film if there is anything that could have been done to make me buy that Mike Barnes was that good of a fighter. The answer is yes, there could have been.  And the fact that nothing was done to give Barnes' some legitimacy, is another reason I hate this film. They could have shown Barnes winning junior World Championships or junior Olympic gold medals. I also think they could have shown Terry Silver training with Mike Barnes, going over everything to expect from Daniel. I would have appreciated a scene where Silver first instructs Daniel and then shows Mike Barnes everything he taught Daniel. Then in an encounter with Barnes, Daniel confesses to Terry Silver that he can't figure out why he can't get a hit in on Barnes. It's as if Barnes has an answer to every move Daniel tries. I would have appreciated something like that. Instead all we're left with is that Daniel, who was able to put up decent fights against two time All Valley champion Johnny Lawrence and Okinawan Karate expert Chosen, can't even get one hit on "bad boy" Mike Barnes.

I once read that the screenplay for Karate Kid III was actually written before the screenplay for Karate Kid II, and it was intended to be the original follow up to The Karate Kid. Producers felt that it was too similar to the original film, and they opted to go with what became Karate Kid II, instead. When it came time to make a third sequel, instead of writing a new script and having to shell out more money for it, they already had the rights to this script and they decided to go with it.

What a stupid decision. What a cheap, lazy and stupid decision. The characters Mr. Miyagi and Daniel Larusso deserved a better send off than this. Pat Morita and Ralph Macchio deserved a better send off than this.

I'll give the movie that it still had some tender moments between Morita and Macchio. Despite having nothing to work with in a shit-script, the two still had some great on screen chemistry. I felt bad for Robin Lively, who did her best in spite of what she had to work with.

This film had no excuses. There is no reason this sequel should be as bad as what it is. I do not blame any of the actors at all. They all did their part. It is the result of a cheap and lazy production and as you can tell, I'm not very forgiving of it.
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2. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 
Out of all of the Nightmare on Elm Street films this is the hardest one for me to sit through. Part 5 is also difficult too, but this one is a little worse. It lacks the scares, the laughs and the overall enjoyment that the original film had. The characters aren't at all interesting and the darker tone adds nothing to the film. If anything it takes away from it. I'm very surprised that another sequel was made after this film considering how bad it was. I'm glad it was though, because part 3 is my favorite out of all of the films.
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1. Jaws The Revenge 
Oh God, where do I start? This isn't only the worst sequel ever made, it's one of the worst movies ever made. My condolences to anyone who has ever been able to make it all the way through this film. If you need a hug or to talk about the horrific experience it was for you, I am here for you. This was torture, pure torture.

A roaring shark? Need I say more? The way they killed the shark...need I say more?

How about the explanation behind Martin Brody's death. How he died of a heart attack, because "the fear of the shark killed him."  Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Floating on a piece of wood, he shoots one shark as it is on its way to devour him and it explodes. Then in Jaws 2, he goes out on an air-tube and holds up a cable for the shark to bite and electrocute itself. He does that, but simply thinking about the shark, while he's on land terrifies him to death...literally.

And Lorraine Gary having flashbacks from events she wasn't there to see from the first film! Whose idea was this!!??! I'm told as a writer that my stuff isn't good enough to publish because of little minor mistakes! Who the Hell allowed this into the film!?!? Who!??! They should be drug out into the street and shot along with the Superman IV: The Quest for Peace special effects team.

I don't know if someone tried if they could make a sequel worse than this one.  I guess the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre as well as the remake both have pretty bad sequels too, but they weren't exactly spectacular films to begin with either.

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