For the most part growing up I was a pretty good kid. I'd be ornery every now and again and there were a few times where I out right misbehaved. For the most part though, I stayed out of trouble and played by the rules. One of my best friends growing up, was a bit more on the wild side.
One of the best people I've ever known in my life, deep down inside he wasn't only a good kid, he was a great kid. He was a man of justice, even at the tender age of 5, 6 years old. One that always stood up for the other guy. One who never tolerated the mistreatment of others. If you were ever in a bind, or you found yourself outnumbered, all you had to do was glance over your shoulder, He always had your back. I guess I've called a lot of people "friend" during my near 37 years on this planet, but only a select few, less than a dozen that truly fit that moniker. He was one of them.
Yet he was also mischievous. Had a heck of an imagination and wasn't afraid of anything or anyone. Every once in a while he'd fear the consequence of his action, but it was always after he had already done it, never before.
One day were were playing outside and he got an idea. His Dad had an old car that sat out in the yard. It had sat there in the same place for years. He figured since they hadn't moved it in years, it must not be that important. Earlier that day we had watched a movie where these guys had trashed a car. My friend thought it looked like fun. I wasn't so sure.
We went into the garage, as he handed me a hammer and grabbed himself a baseball bat.
"Here," He said. "We can use these."
"Are you sure we won't get in trouble for doing this?"
"We'll be fine."
With the assurance of a good insurance salesman who insist you need flood insurance while living in Death Valley, California, I followed him to the car.
"Have at it!" He said as he crawled on top of the car's hood.
I sat down next to the back tire and lightly tapped my hammer against the wheel.
"No, no, no!" He yelled at me. "Like this!"
He reared back like Hank Aaron about to hit a home run as he hit the windshield with such force that it knocked him back on his rear end. A huge hole that spiderwebbed nearly the entire windshield remained.
"What the HELL are you boys doing!"
I dropped my hammer and froze in panic. It was his Dad. We heard him through the kitchen window as we heard the door slam. I was best friends with this kid, going over to his house for 14 years of my life and it was the only time I was ever afraid of his Dad.
I'll never forget what my friend said to me as his Dad approached us.
"Say it was your idea."
"What!?!?!?"
"He won't hit you. He'll blister my ass!"
When his Dad got to us, I was so afraid that I couldn't speak. I couldn't even move.
"It was Stephen's idea."
His Dad took one look at me and then looked back at him.
"Like Hell it was!" He grabbed him under the arm, hoisted him up and carried him, screaming and fighting back inside.
Thinking that he might come back for me, I went and hid. As I hid, I heard two very loud noises one followed right after the other.
WHAP!
"AH!!"
It was the sound of my friend getting spanked and his reaction to it.
A few minutes later, my friend came hobbling outside.
"Stephen!" He yelled for me.
I slowly crept around to where he was.
"Is it safe?" I asked him.
He rubbed his behind with his hand as he slowly sat down, fidgeting about from the soreness that remained.
"Yeah," He said. "It's safe."
"Did you get spanked?"
"What the hell do think?" He frowned at me. "This is really your fault you know."
"My fault?"
"Yeah."
"How is it my fault. It was your idea."
"Well yeah," He admitted. "But your supposed to talk me out of these things. That's your job."
Unable to warrant a response all I could do was stare at him.
"My mom says your a good influence on me, or at least your supposed to be."
Yeah, supposed to be.
Sunday, December 5, 2021
Boys Will be Boys
Wednesday, November 24, 2021
Complete the Story: 20 of 198
The desert is an unforgiving place. This one is called Death Valley for a reason. Every living thing there has to fight for survival. And we would have to fight, too, or else we would be consumed by a sidewinder, bobcat, or one of the other predators who made their home the heat. Oddly enough as we had never experienced a hot of greater degree and we ached from pain of thirst, it was the night that concerned me. We had been held at gun point, hands tied behind our backs, blindfolded, gagged and forced to get into a limousine. Positioned up against the window, I heard the instructions given to our executor.
"Drive them out into the desert. Pop them out there. Make it quick. I'm hungry. Louie's closes at 11."
I don't think the others heard it. I barely did and I was right up against the door. In fact, I know they didn't hear it. They couldn't have. Even though I couldn't see, I could still hear. I could still sense. While I felt a state of confusion and uncertainty from them, I didn't feel a state of panic. If they had heard what I had, I would have.
I thought of two things as we drove out to the desert. I thought of time. If he had to be back before 11, this essentially gave him an hour to get to where he was going, off us and then get back. In high pressure situations its easy to fooled by time. Minutes can turn into hours and hours can turn into minutes. Yet it was about 10 to 8 when they all showed up on the property. I suppose it was around 8:30 or so when we were forced hands behind our back, gagged and blindfolded into the limo. If he got his work done by 9:30, he'd be back by 10:30. Perhaps I was giving him too much credit. Punctual as I am, I refuse to go into a restaurant with anything less than a half hour left before they close. Not sure why I thought this man who had been told to kill us was suddenly going to have the decency. Why it struck me as peculiar that he'd shoot four people in the back of the head, two of them minors and yet feel it was inappropriate to show up at a restaurant expecting food and service shortly before they closed.
The other thought was of anger, but it wasn't at him. It wasn't even at the other man who had told him to kill us. It wasn't because I had no idea who these people were, or why they were doing this to us. It wasn't because I'm 25 and I thought of all the life I'd miss. It was because of Louie's. If the other man had not mentioned Louie's, I'm not even sure if I would have felt anger.
Louie's is the most expensive restaurant in our area. No one I know has ever ate there. I've never ate there. It's a somebody restaurant. You could save up for a while and afford one of their dishes, but that wasn't good enough for him. You had to prove that you could afford to eat their any time you wanted. They looked at your car, your clothes and if you weren't up to their standards, you weren't getting in. You had to be important. You had to be worthy. Apparently this guy who within a short amount of time was going to off us and the sociopath who nonchalantly ordered our execution, they were good enough. We weren't. I wasn't. But, they were. Of all the things that now faced me, my death, my cousin and her two kids deaths, not knowing why this was happening, of all things, thinking of Louie's is what pissed me off most.
The limousine came to stop as he put it into park. He left the engine running. I had been so preoccupied by my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed it until then, but he had the radio on. Brian's Song by Anne Murray was on the radio.
"Even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you honey." It was almost comical hearing him sing along. Even more comical that he waited for the song to end before opened up the door and got out.
Few words were spoken as he opened up the back door and ordered us out of the car. We walked for abut a minute or so, maybe two when he told us to get down on our knees. I began to regret not putting up a fight at my Uncle's house. The four of us had been so cooperative doing exactly what these people had asked us to do. I figured that was our best course of action. I was wrong. Now all I could do was hope that I'd be the first to be shot.
BANG!
The gun shot was so loud and deafening that I did not hear the body hit the ground. All I knew was that I had not been first. I knew I wouldn't be the second either. I wasn't going to be the third. I was going to be the last.
Five seconds at most is all the time their could have been between gun shots. Each felt like a decade but all in all the entire experience took a quarter of a minute. Three bangs. It was now my turn.
BANG!
I was still conscious. I could feel my body shake. I could feel myself breathing. Was this what it was like to be dead? Was I now a spirit? I felt no pain. I didn't feel my body against the desert sand. I could still feel my knees hard against the ground.
"Listen," The man said to me. "After I cut you lose I'm going to put the knife behind you. If you go to turn around or remove your blindfold before I drive away, I'll shoot you twice in each foot."
I nodded.
"Good," He said. "Listen for the car to drive away. Count to 100 and then you can remove your blindfold and gag."
I did as the man instructed.
The light from the hot sun burned my eyes as I removed my blind fold. It took a minute for the blur to clear as I looked over to my left and saw my cousin and her two kids. They were alive. Unharmed and alive. I cut them loose.
"Why didn't he kill us?" My cousin asked.
"I don't know."
All four of us had the same questions and all four of us had the same answers. All we knew now is that we were out in the hot desert and we had to make it back to civilization. Night was going to be falling soon and this time a year the temperature could get down into the 40's. A temp the human body might not survive.
We were far enough away I knew however far we had to go, we weren't making it before the sun went down. We'd have to spend the night. Maybe that's what the man who drove us out here to kill us was planning on. Figured why waste four perfectly good bullets if mother nature could do the job herself?
We walked in the direction of the trail the limousine had made. Walked until we were out of energy. Then we gathered in a small circle. Back to back, resting up against one another. I feel asleep with my eyes open.
Sunday, August 15, 2021
McIntyre Says, "WRONG!" to Doctor's Claims
Dr. Sam Ich of CHI Memorial Hospital in Chattanooga, Tennessee came under attack late Thursday afternoon when he told a group of college students to stay out of the sun on excessively hot days.
Dr. Ich was explaining to the students at UT-Chattanooga that on days when heat reaches excessive temperatures it can pose a variety of dangers to the human body. Heat exhaustion and severe burns being among some of those dangers.
"You want to stay out of the sun on a day like today," Dr. Ich said.
That's when George McIntyre, a 70 year old former wrestling official, town know it all and local idiot verbally attacked Dr. Ich.
"WRONG!!" McIntyre shouted from a seat in the third row of the auditorium.
Confused as to McIntyre's claims as well as his insistence, Dr. Ich entertained his claims asking why he felt he was wrong.
"You can't go into the sun!" McIntyre shouted. "It's 94 million miles away!"
Dr. Ich tried to explain to McIntyre that he didn't literally mean that students shouldn't go into the sun. He simply meant that they shouldn't go outside into the sunlight without proper precautions and protection.
"If you meant that, then you should have said it!" McIntyre continued to shout. "You said into the sun. Not into the sunlight or sun's rays. These kids can't go into the sun. Anyone knows that. The sun is 94 million miles away. It'd take 19 years to reach the sun."
Dr. Ich tried to once again explain what he meant and the usage of the common expression, "stay out of the sun" but McIntyre continued to protest.
"They'd burn up long before they ever reached the sun anyway." McIntyre laughed. "Call yourself a Dr? You don't even know that you can't actually go into the sun."
Dr. Ich tried to continue his presentation but McIntyre continued to interrupt demanding that Dr. Ich admit that he was wrong and apologize for making an inaccurate statement.
"The man is deranged," Dr. Ich said when asked for comment.
At the present time we are still gathering comment from George McIntyre. He's spent the last four hours telling us how wonderful, intelligent, great and magnificent he is.
Saturday, August 7, 2021
Realizing Good Fortune
When the small odd looking little anomaly arrived at 5:33 a.m. May 22nd, 1985 that would eventually be named Stephen Franklin Stonebraker, he was graced with the good fortune of having all six of his grandmas still alive.
Unfortunately I never got to know my Grandma Norma Stonebraker that well. She passed two and a half months shy of my fourth birthday. I do remember bits and pieces of her. It's funny because what I do remember is so insignificant. I remember she kept candy bars in the refrigerator. Butterfingers and Kit-Kats. I remember her taking me to work with her once and sitting me on a big warm dryer. That's about the extent of it though.
Then a short time later Grandma Edna Barrett passed away. She was already in poor health from the time my memory kicked in. I think I was a year older than what I was when Grandma Norma passed. While I do remember visiting her in the hospital, the memory I have of her that sticks out most was at my Uncle John and Aunt Dawn's wedding. I wanted to sit next to her, so I kinda just went and wedged my way between her and another guest.
Now my Grandma Danels I knew very well. Spent a lot of time with her. She was my main babysitter when I was a kid. Even though she's been gone now for 28 years, it's never felt that long. I skipped school some days, pretending not to feel well just to be able to spend the day at her house.
Grandma Alta Stonebraker I'd visit either with my Dad or my Grandpa Harry about 12 times a year. We'd go down to her and my Grandpa Clarence's house (he passed in 1997) about once a month. I loved listening to her tell stories of long ago and I think we sat and looked through picture albums every time I visited. She lived to be 103 & was mentally with it up until about the last two years.
Grandma Reta Fox was a lot like Grandma Alta. She loved history and she loved to talk about it. Which was great for me, because I loved hearing about it. We had a lot in common. She lived to be 96 I believe or somewhere around that age.
Then when I was 11, I was even more lucky because when my Mom married Barry, I inherited another Grandma. Evelyn Lee. Even though I could be a little pain in the ass at times, she always welcomed me into her family.
I'll also say even though members of my family don't like it, I have always and I still consider Dorothy Bos a grandmother of mine. She was married to my Grandpa for a couple of years and even though their marriage didn't work out, she was extremely good to me during that time. She told me that she still thought of me as a grandson the last time I saw her. She passed a few years back too. I suppose it's probably longer ago than that, but it doesn't feel like it.
And now Grandma Kathleen Harding is gone. Another very special woman in my life that helped to shape me into what I at least hope is a decent person. I may not be rich. I may not have a new house or a new car. What I do have though is decency. Respect. Kindness. Empathy. Love and care. In those areas, I do feel rich and all of that is because of the fortune of being surrounded by such incredible people.
It donned on me a couple of days ago that all of my Grandmothers are gone now. It was a depressing feeling, but the depression didn't last long. Instead there's a feeling of happiness. A feeling of gratitude. During my lifetime I was fortunate enough to have eight women to give me grandmotherly love and guidance.
For that, I am incredibly thankful.
Friday, July 2, 2021
My Tattoo idea
I have been contemplating getting a tattoo ever since I turned 18 years old. 36 now and I still haven't done it. I think it's about time that I did, and I think one year from now is when I'll do it.
I imagine what I want will be fairly expensive. It's rather extensive and rather detailed.
What I'm still debating about is whether I want it on my back or on my front. Either way I want it in a circle around my heart. I either want it on my left pectoral or on my back in the same spot.
I want it to be a mural of sorts of the four passions of my life.
So here they are, the four passions of my life. My love for dogs and cats, wrestling, theater and creative writing.
Sunday, May 30, 2021
When it got REAL in the Ring
Technically, I would say this only happened once in my career, although I have a handful of stories where I used my amateur wrestling skills.
The first time I ever used my amateur wrestling on someone was during training. One of the guys we were training with was huge. About 6'2 and close to 300 lbs. One day I was wrestling around with another wrestler, when he started giving me crap about high school wrestling. Both in a playful mood, I told him that if I got on top of him and secured a half nelson I could turn him over to his back. He pfffed a big laugh at me and said no way. I went over to where I had put my keys and my wallet, took out $10 and said, "This $10 says that I can." He got $10 of his own and said back to me, "I'll take that bet."
He got down on all fours and I got on top of him. When someone else yelled go, I immediately threw in the legs and double underhooks as he rolled about trying to escape. I can remember him yelling, "Jesus, you're a F'n leach!" As he began to tire, I began to stretch him out cranking on his neck, slipping in the half nelson and snaking the head for leverage. It wasn't easy and it did take some time but he went over to his back. Wasn't the first time and it won't be the last time someone says to me, "you're deceptively strong." I became $10 richer that day.
The second time wasn't as friendly and it got broken up before it even started. There was a regular at MCW in the quad cities that was always bragging about how standout he had been as an amateur. I had never heard anything about him. I went home and researched him on the internet. I couldn't find anything connecting him to any high school anywhere in Iowa. I went back to a show wondering if maybe the gimmick name he went under wasn't his real name. When I asked what his real name was, I was told that they were one in the same. It made me wonder if maybe he had wrestled in Illinois instead of Iowa. When I went home and looked him up under Illinois wrestling, again I came up empty handed. Yet he continued to brag about how great of a amateur he had been.
When I finally found out the truth behind his story, I had to laugh. He HAD indeed achieved some highlights in amateur wrestling as a SUPER-PEEWEE. Back in first grade he had won a couple of big tournaments. Here was a grown man in his mid twenties bragging about something he had done when he was seven years old. I came up to him one day and told him that I'd like to have a real wrestling match with him. He said why not go right now? I can't say it was heated, because it wasn't. It was still a friendly exposition, but I don't know if anyone else in the locker room knew that. We felt one another out and I faked to the left, dropping down on his right leg. As I brought his leg into the air, Big Bob Pence grabbed both of us, ripped us apart and yelled for us to stop. I think he thought we were going at it in a fight. Pence was about 400 lbs, a three time Iowa high school state qualifier and he had wrestled collegiately at Augustana. Neither of us were going to do anything other than what he told us to do.
The third time was at a match in Illinois. I was wrestling a guy that would later become one of my best friends in the business. We were performing when suddenly he came after me for real. I took about three potatoes to the head when I realized that something was off. To this day I'm not 100% sure what happened. I don't know whether he was testing me, if he had some sort of PTSD moment or what. All I know is that he was swinging hailmakers and connecting hard enough to give me a headache. Without thinking I just reacted. I snapped him down in a front headlock and synched my right wrist right across his throat. As he gasped for air he went limp, reaching up and tapping for me to let go. I didn't let go but I eased up my pressure.
"You ready to work now?" I asked him, "We're gonna work now?"
"Yeah, Yeah," He answered.
The rest of the match went great. We came back to the locker room and he said to me, "Holy shit dude, for a short little shit, you sure are strong."
The final time was at a show in West Liberty. My opponent that night was a chopper. He loved to chop. I told him it was fine to chop me but chop me in my meaty areas. I workout my chest hard with bench press and all sorts of pectoral exercises. Chop me there. Chop me in my upper back. Do NOT chop me in the belly or the lower back. He agreed to follow these guidelines.
Yet once the match got going, he gave me a big open hand slap straight to the gut. I figured I'd let him get away with the one. Give him a warning and not have to worry about it again. I was wrong. As I lay on my stomach on the mat, he came up and delivered a huge chop right to the lower part of my back. It stung like Hell. Enough warnings. It was time for revenge.
When the opportunity came to get my heat, I sunk in a bo and arrow nice and easy. Then little by little I began to tighten up the move. I heard him say to the referee, "tell him to ease up a little, it's getting tight." When he said that I wrenched really hard stretching him.
"Ah!!!" He screamed, "Ah!!!"
He wasn't selling, the screams were real.
We finished the match and when we went back into the locker room he said to me, "What the Hell did you put me in? That freaking hurt dude!" I told him it was a move I learned in high school wrestling. We agreed that he'd never chop my lower back or belly again if I agreed to never put him in that move again. We wrestled twice more after that. His chops weren't near as hard and they were to the UPPER back and chest.
Friday, April 2, 2021
Stephen Stonebraker tentative baseball schedule
Kirkwood Community College host DMACC tomorrow for a game at 1:00 p.m. and 4:00 p.m. If fans are allowed, I will attend at least the first game. Maybe the second.
Saturday, March 27, 2021
Writing Exercise: Three & Three
The point of this exercise is to take three books that I really enjoyed and explore why I enjoyed them through answering questions about them.
Books that I really enjoyed
A - THAT WAS THEN THIS IS NOW - S.E. Hinton
A1 - What one element in the book gave you the most pleasure?
The brutal honesty of the book and how it revealed the harsh truths and bitter realities of the world. As a 15 year old freshman in high school that was often sugarcoated by what I knew to be Disney fantastical crap, I appreciated someone who was willing to be raw and real with me.
A2 - Who was your favorite character in it, and why?
Bryon. I appreciated that even though he was often in a world without values and morals, he never lost his personal integrity. He wasn't afraid to question things and be honest with himself that in such an unsure world, he may not have all of the answers.
A3 What elements of talent particularly distinguished this book?
All of them. S.E. Hinton was able to hit all of them on the head. All of the characters were real people. I've read the book a total of three times in my life and each time I read it they all become living, breathing individuals to me. There is so much insight, understanding and wisdom within the novel. The craft, the dramatic skill. It is all there woven together impeccably.
A4 - What question did this book ask and answer?
Does doing the right thing ever have severe consequences?
A5 - What impressed you most about this book?
Before I read this book I looked at people, issues and subjects with a very narrow minded black and white perspective. After reading it, it changed the way I perceive the world. At that exact moment the world became gray to me.
A6 - Could You Have Written this Book?
Based on work ethic and passion? I think so, but I dare not insult the talents and abilities of Hinton. I hope to have the type of talent she has. I hope to be able to display it one day. She's been a hero of mine for such a long time. I read THE OUTSIDERS (also by S.E. Hinton) and then upon suggestion a year later, I was encouraged to read this. I think I could write this because I think what makes it so special is how vulnerable it is. How open it is. Hinton created a world with an exterior of toughness. An impregnable outer layer. Yet with an interior of vulnerability. I think that's why it is still so special and revered to this day.
B - A DAY NO PIGS WOULD DIE by Robert Newton Peck
B1 - What element in the Book gave you the most pleasure?
Again the brutal honesty that is displayed throughout the novel. How the harsh realities of the world were depicted throughout the main character's journey.
B2 - Who was your favorite character in it, and why?
The narrator. He connected with me on so many levels. I felt his joys, his sorrows, his pains. He wasn't alone when he lost Pinky. I was right there with him.
B3 - What elements of talent particularly distinguished this book?
Like THAT WAS THEN THIS IS NOW, all of them were hit on impeccably.
B4 - What question did this book ask and answer?
How do we as people keep intact our ability to be moral, empathetic and loving, while participating in the practice of killing, butchering and eating animals?
B5 - What impressed you most about the book?
I struggled with the issues of hunting and raising livestock for food for a long period of time in my life. I wanted to show that I understood and respected these things, while at the same time showing that I respected the life of these animals and what they were sacrificing so that myself and others could eat. I ate meat, but yet I hated (and I STILL hate) the apathetic, lackadaisical attitude of "it's just a pig man." I didn't appreciate that attitude and I didn't want anyone to think that I had it. This book helped me to develop the current attitude I still hold to this day. I appreciate and respect both hunting and butchering of animals, but I never forget the respect I have for these animals. The appreciation and gratitude I have towards them for the service they provide. This is why I think there is a huge difference between hunting and animal and outright killing it. Reading this book helped me to for this opinion.
B6 - Could You Have Written This Book?
I would have liked to have. I'm going to be thirty-six in less than two months. I've been at this business of trying to make it as a writer since I was 18. I've dreamed of getting inside people's heads. Making them laugh, making them cry. Making them feel after putting my book down that I made a real impact on their life. Even if it was nothing more than to enjoy my book for a few moments. Let them escape the world within the pages of my novel. Obviously I do believe I'm capable of such things. That may be a sign of lunacy. I'm nearly double the age I was when I started.
C - PET SEMATARY by Stephen King
C1 - What one element in the book gave you the most pleasure?
In a weird, twisted, messed up sort of why it was satisfying to see how unfair the world can sometimes be. Everyone in this story may have made poor decisions, but they made those decisions with the best of intentions. I almost hate to admit this but the scene where Louis sends Gage back to the grave was the most satisfying to me. It grabbed me in a way that I didn't realize I could be grabbed. It hit me in a way that I didn't realize I could be hit. He wanted so bad for his son to be back. He would do anything to bring him back. Even something that he knew deep down inside could have dire consequences. Then upon the devastation that Gage brought back upon his return, Louis knew that he had no choice other than to send him back to the grave. There's no wonder that it drove him crazy. There's no way a parent could go through such a thing and not end up insane
C2 - Who was your favorite character, and why?
It was hard not to like Jed. I had a hard time understanding why he would be so foolish, with all of the history and knowledge he had of the Micmac burial ground, but I know he meant no harm.
C3 - What elements of talent particularly distinguished this book?
Again all of them. King is a mastermind at the process. That's probably why the man is worth half a billion dollars and why his books average sales of $40 million per year. I dream of making 0.18% of that.
C4 - What question did this book ask and answer?
Should well enough be left alone?
C5 - What impressed you most about this book?
When we read books or watch films we often do so from an outsiders perspective. Why say to ourselves, "What an idiot!!!" and "Why would he do that!?!?!?" We are critics and judgers of the choices that characters make throughout the story. We often have an inability or a refusal to place ourselves in their position. This book forces you to put yourself in the position of Louis Creed. You have no choice but to fall in love with Gage and want him back as much as Louis does. You know it's wrong to dig up his body. You know it's wrong to place him at the Micmac burial ground. You know that there is nothing good that can become of it. Yet you also know that if you were in Louis's position, you'd probably end up doing the same thing he did. Even though there isn't, you long for and yearn for a positive result as much as he does. King's ability to do that to you is like a powerful hypnosis. It's pure magic.
C6 - Could You Have Written this Book?
Again, I'd like to think I have this ability. That I have this talent. That through continued practice, hard work and perseverance that I'll have my opportunity to prove it. I also know that it involves a tremendous amount of luck and circumstance. That only so much of it is in my hands. I HAVE to do my part, but my part isn't the only part in this process. King will go down as one of the greatest of all time. A writer that has been cherished for fifty years now. A writer that will be cherished fifty years after he's gone. I can only dream of his fame and of his money. Frankly it isn't about that to me. Would I like to have millions? Yes. Would I love to fly all over the country, consistently giving talks, seminars and answering questions while signing autographs and taking pictures with fans? YES! Yet, to know that I even had a small audience out there. That people are enjoying my books. Getting something out of them. Falling in love with characters that I create. Worlds that I imagined. That's the real gold in writing. That's the end of the rainbow for me.
Friday, March 26, 2021
Jason Janes: Discovering His Origins
My second trip to Bryon, Illinois is search of Jason Janes was mildly successful. In my second attempt to reach James "Terry" Janes & Marilyn Janes, Jason's mother and father I was unsuccessful. I stopped by their home four times in five hours. They did not seem to be home.
The positives that came out of today were the following:
At the Stillman Valley public library I found two year books that prove that indeed Jason Janes is Jason Janes' real name and that he did attend high school at Stillman Valley. He was class of 1999. Provided below is photographical evidence.
In the yearbook was also a Jessica Janes. I found an address for her. Upon investigating, she did not live there but her mother and father were there.
I didn't speak long with them, but they were very friendly and provided some valuable information. They didn't say anything negative about Jason but they didn't seem to be real crazy about him either. They said he rarely comes back & hadn't been back to the area since his grandfather died quite a few years ago. They said that his mom & dad did still live in Byron. The last they knew of him, he was living in Florida.
I consider today a small success. It tells me a few things. Most likely his mom & his dad DID receive my letter asking them to call or to email me and it was ignored. Jason Janes IS from that area. Jason Janes DID attend high school at Stillman Valley. Jason Janes rarely shows up in Stillman Valley and doesn't seem to be well liked by his aunt and uncle.
There is a possibility that I may go back to Byron a third time in the future. I'm not sure if I'd be able to find anything more than what I already have but third times are often a charm.
Jason Janes Junior Year (1998) Stillman Valley High School (Illinois) Cousin Jessica in photo next to him |
Jason Janes list of activities at Stillman Valley during his four years there. |
Jason Janes Senior Year (1999) Stillman Valley High School (Illinois) |
Tuesday, March 16, 2021
WRITING EXERCISE: 17 Questions At Three Different Ages
Currently reading a book at the moment to improve my writing skills. An exercise has been recommended to look at myself at three different ages and answer seventeen questions apiece. The goal is to see how much change a person goes through in their life.
Age 8 - I would've been in first grade
Age 12 - I would've been in sixth grade
Age 16 - I would've been a sophomore in high school.
1. What Scared You The Most?
Age 8 - I was death defyingly terrified of E.T. It's comical to think of now. I would list E.T. as one of my top twenty five films of all time. Yet back in those days I would have night terrors of him. No idea why but I was scared to death of him. One day I forced myself to watch the entire film from start to finish and that night I had a good dream about him. Laugh if you must but it was at the time one of the bravest things I ever did.
Age 12 - I thought at the time that the answer to all of my problems was getting to live with my Dad and I was terrified that if I didn't get to live with him, that my life would turn out like shit. This year in my life my parents had a long, nasty custody hearing over me. My mom won and I was devastated. I thought I was being robbed of a better life.
Age 16 - Ironically enough this is the time that I went to go live with my Dad. I found out a short time into it how wrong I was that living with him would be a good idea. It actually turned out to be one of the worst ideas I ever had. At the time it began to make me question a lot of things in life. I had felt so strongly about living with my father. Felt so confident and assured that living with him would better and benefit my life. Looking back now, I realize I would have been better off to have stayed living with my mother. At least in some says. It really messed with my confidence and my ability to trust my instincts and have faith in my decisions. This was the time in my life when I began to doubt things.
2. What Angered You The Most?
Age 8 - Jeff Cooley. He was a kid at school that had moved to the area from Texas. I don't know what it was about me, but as soon as he saw me he thought I'd be a great target to bully. I think it was because I was fat and sensitive. Most of his bullying came in the form of picking on me about my weight or laughing at me because I cried easy. I hated him with a passion.
Age 12 - The death of my sister Sydney. It happened on March 3rd of that year. I was filled up with so much rage, confusion and guilt at the time. I bottled a lot of it up. I wasn't sure how to handle it or what to do with it. Led to a very depressing time in my life.
Age 16 - Not having more success at wrestling. I had given up a chance to go on a vacation that summer to instead attend the University of Iowa's 12 Day Intensive Wrestling Camp, known nationally as one of the toughest wrestling camps in the United States. I spent all summer working on my technique and all fall running to improve my conditioning. Yet all the hard work did not translate into success on the mat. As a result I was very angry about this. There were other kids on the team that didn't work any where near as hard. Some that didn't even work hard at all and they were having way more success than I was. I was extremely angry about it at the time.
3. What Worried You the Most?
Age 8 - Pleasing my father. People remember me being such a strange weird little kid, and a lot of that had to do with how strict my father was. He was extremely particular about clothes. You did NOT come home with a food stain on your shirt. You did NOT come home with mud on your shoes. You did NOT come home with a spec of dust on your jacket. I can remember once at school a kid squirted me with a bottle of ketchup and I had to be taken to the nurse because they thought I was having a panic attack.
Age 12 - This will make you laugh. Here I am having spent the last eighteen years of my life trying to make it as a writer. I'm the closest to that dream I have ever been in my life. Yet at the time, I was barely passing Mrs. Wallerich's English courses. I did not mesh with that woman at all. Nothing I did was ever right for her. It was not a matter of effort. I gave her plenty of that. My report card first quarter was a D+. I can remember being terrified to go home. The ass chewing I got when my Dad received my report card was so intense and so severe that as a 35 year old man who put up 315 lbs four times at the gym last night, I still shake in fear when I think about it. She called my father the next day to tell him that she had made a mistake and that my grade was actually a C-. I always wondered if she had actually made a mistake or she realized how serious my father was about "Nothing below a C." I think one day I might ask her.
Age 16 - What didn't I worry about at this time in my life? I worried about wrestling, I worried about school, I worried about my future. It's a wonder I didn't start going gray before I hit twenty. I was so pathetic and unsuccessful with women at the time that I thought the chances of dying a virgin and having never kissed a woman were highly probable.
4. What Did You Want For Your Birthday?
Age 8 - Anything and everything WWE. I was obsessed with WWE at the time. Action figures, videos, trading cards, posters, books. If I was WWE I wanted it.
Age 12 - This was two months post Sydney's death so at the time I didn't want anything. I think my mom had an idea of how messed up I was so she spent a ton of money and a ton of time throwing me one of the biggest parties I ever had. Here she was two & a half months post losing her daughter, nearly dying herself and yet throwing me a party with some of my good friends because she thought it might help to drag me out of the depression I was in. It was a good party. It was a fun time. Tim Wehr, Kasey O'Rourke, Matt Sieren, Clint Albert and Charlie Weber all came. My Dad had a party for me too. It was Tim Wehr and Clint Albert. I think both wanted to see me smile. I didn't do a whole lot of that after Sydney died.
Age 16 - I don't even know if I did. I know I got stuff but at the time the only thing I can remember is telling everyone I didn't want a cake because cake was fattening and I didn't need it. My Aunt Shirley made me one anyway. Bless her soul, I didn't have a slice of it it though. God, I was disciplined at that time in my life.
5. How did you Spend Your Saturdays?
Age 8 - My parents got divorced in 1991. I think officially it was November of 1991, or maybe my Dad moved out at that time and they were divorced later. I don't know. I was a little kid. It was like I kept records of that sorta thing back then. What I do remember is my Dad coming to get me on Friday nights and spending all weekend with him. We could go to the rental store and usually rent one or two movies. I loved that so much. Saturday night movie nights with Dad. Something nearly thirty years later I still cherish.
Age 12 - Wrestling by this time had consumed my life. From November through March, it was every single weekend. If you take a map of Iowa, there's not a high school gym (with exception to those that didn't have wrestling programs) that I didn't wrestle in within two & a half hours of Sigourney, Iowa. Sometimes even up to three.
Age 16 - Wrestling still took up most of my life, but at this time I had a bit more freedom. This is right when I received my license. I'd occasionally hang out with Clint Albert or Chris Thompson, but most of my free time was spent with Tim Wehr or Joel Straube. This is when I started my friendship with Nicole Smith and Yhadra Oviedo too. My first real time of being friends with members of the opposite sex.
6. What Did You Want To Be When You Grew Up?
Age 8 - A garbage man. At the time I thought it would be cool to be the guy that rode on the back of the garbage truck and threw the trash into the back. I suppose it'd suck in the winter, but during the summer it looked like a great way to spend the day.
Age 12 - An entertainer. I made up my mind around this time in my life that in some capacity I wanted to entertain people. I didn't know exactly how. Pro wrestling, creative writing, acting, singing (HA!!!!), I had no idea what to focus in on, but I knew I wanted to entertain people.
Age 16 - By this time I knew in my life that if I had any talent, any ability, any real shot, it was going to be with my writing. Novels, screenplays, short stories, articles, I thought I could do it all. I kept my mind open to whatever door would eventually open for me. I didn't realize it was going to take twenty years for a door to open (and that door still hasn't opened yet, although at this time it does appear to be unlocked).
7. What Was Your Relationship To Your Immediate Family?
Age 8 - I was pretty close with both my mom and my Dad at this time. The war between the two was rather bitter, but I hadn't become a weapon of leverage yet. Sara and I were fairly close. Probably did more things together at this time than we ever have since.
Age 12 - At this time in my life I was very close with my father and very distant from my mother. Sara didn't really exist in my life much at this time. She was there but she had a very distraught relationship with my mom and Barry and she practically saw little to nothing of my Dad. It was a rough time in her life. She made some decisions that at the time I didn't approve of and I was rather critical of her.
Age 16 - I had matured more at this time in my life. Began to see things as they were vs how I thought they were. I remember a good family friend our my mom's at the time saying to me how much of a man he thought I had become. He didn't know or care much about whether I was a success as a wrestler or not, because he thought I was a success as far as the kind of person and friend I was. He's since passed. I think of him often. At the time I was so into myself and my life that I was a good, respectful kid but also a very much keep to myself kind of kid. I didn't spend much time with my mom & Barry or my Dad. As to Sara. Sara was out of the house at this time. I rarely ever saw or spoke to her.
8. Describe Your Room
Age 8 - I lived at Box 20, Rural Route 3 on Stone Street in Sigourney. You walked into my room and my bed was off to the left. To the wall was a book shelf and to the right was a toy chest. I didn't spend much time in my room as a kid. I was more of a living room kind of guy.
Age 12 - Lived at 729 West Jackson. Had a desk to the west of my bed where I spent a lot of time writing. Some of the first ideas I ever came up with for novels or screenplays happened at that desk. The rest of the room was full of posters, pictures and other things that had meaning in my life.
Age 16 - Lived at 810 South Stuart. Bed in the center of the room. Closet on the south side, dresser on the west. Had a 9/11 memorabilia poster on the west side, a Halloween poster on the east and a Johnny Thompson autographed poster on the north side walls.
9. Relationship With Your Grandparents?
Age 8 - I was very lucky and very fortunate that nearly all of my Grandparents and nearly all of my great grandparents were still alive at this point. My Grandpa Harry lived in town and we saw quite a bit of him. My Dad was extremely good about making sure that I got to see plenty of my Great Grandpa and Grandma Stonebraker. They lived in Bloomfield a little less than an hour away. Dad took me to see them no less than twelve times a year. It was a Sunday afternoon every month. Can't say I appreciated it enough at this time in my life, but I did later on. My Grandma Danels also lived in town and I was extremely close with her. She babysat me all the time. Often let me have Chris Thompson come over too. She was so good to him, that he called her Grandma too.
As to my maternal grandparents I saw quite a bit of them too. My Grandpa Grimm was sort of a mystery to me at this time. I didn't see a whole lot of him, but I thought he was a neat guy. He used the swear words no one else would use and I was very curious about these words at the time. My mom took me to see Grandma Harding fairly often, but she had gotten divorced and was helping my Aunt Brenda to raise Cody, so she was working extremely hard at her job.
We also saw quite a bit of Grandma Fox. She would babysit me occasionally when my sister and mom would go on long shopping sprees. One of my favorite memories was when she helped me organize my WWF trading card collection. She made me read the back of each card to her and tell her all about the wrestlers. She didn't know or care anything about them, but she knows I did.
Age 12 - About the same as age 8.
Age 16 - This is when my Dad's influence began to rub off on me. If anyone ever ask me to describe some of my father's best traits and qualities, I would say it is an appreciation for people. It's weird because I've always felt my Dad has gone out of his way to let the people important in his life know that they're important to him. That he values the impact & influence they've had on him. Ironically enough, the only person I've ever felt that he wasn't this way with, is me.
This Covid-19 thing has been killing me because I have that same instinct from my father and I think he got it from his father, Grandpa Harry. At age 16 when I had my license, I was very good about going to visit people, especially grandparents. My Grandma Fox told my mom shortly before her death that between myself and Spencer, we had come to see her more than any of her other great grandkids.
10. Favorite Cousins?
Age 8 - I was very close with my cousin Cody around this time. I loved to teach him things and show him things. My mom tells me that at this time I really wanted a little brother, and I think it's because I had so much fun with Cody. I always wanted to go see him and I always wanted him to come to our house. I just thought he was the neatest thing in the world.
Age 12 - I was still pretty close with Cody at this time. I remember my Dad and I once taking my uncle Chris and Cody to a wrestling tournament with us. I thought it was so strange that my Dad and Mom were divorced, yet my Dad was still riding in a car with my Uncle Chris (my mom's sister's husband).
Age 16 - Still thought a lot of Cody but this is around the time I got to also know my cousin Spencer pretty well too. This is when I discovered just how cool and neat of a person he was. Made me wish I knew him better growing up but we lived pretty far apart. Good guy. To this day still consider him to be one of the best people I've ever known in life.
11. Vacations?
Age 8 - Both my parents were financially drained from an expensive, long, drawn out divorce. No vacation for Stephen.
Age 12 - Ha!! Now here's a story for you. My Mom had gotten remarried around this time. Flew for the first time in my life to Orlando, Florida and had a lot of fun visiting Daytona and Orlando. Disney, Universal Studios, Sea World and all sorts of stuff. Not to be outdone, Dad flew us out to New Jersey to visit his cousins. That was a lot of fun too. Most memorable part of that trip was taking a ferry from Cape May, New Jersey to Louis, Delaware. Never got off the boat though. So I've seen Delaware, but I've never stepped foot in it.
Age 16 - I had various opportunities to go on various vacations but I always turned them down to go to wrestling camps instead. A lot of people call me bitter about my high school wrestling career. Josh Swafford said I was "negative" about it. Well I guess in some ways he's right. I sacrificed so much for the sport. I put so much effort, work and energy into it. I'm not so much angry anymore that I didn't succeed. That doesn't bother me that much anymore. It's more the doubt people have. The questioning they have. Wrestling has this false belief that the only reason you don't succeed, is because you didn't work hard enough. Because you didn't want it bad enough. That I'm still bitter about. That I'm still pissed off about. I went to two wrestling camps in the summer when I had chances to go to California, Georgia and all sorts of neat places. Don't tell me I didn't want to succeed at wrestling. I'm damn near 40 years old and I've wanted to see California since I was 7. I didn't see California and I might not ever see California. Why? Cause I thought going to wrestling camp was more important. Don't ever tell me I didn't want to succeed.
12. Where was your escape? Where did You Go to Get away from it all?
Age 8 - My action figures. There was a lot of fighting at my home at this time. My WWE, TMNT and other action figures were my get away. I'd go into this world, where all I knew was what I created in my little scenes with the action figures. I think at age eight I could have been a decent booker for the WWE. I had my own Wrestlemanias, my own Summerslams, my own Royal Rumbles and my own Survivor Series.
Age 12 - This is when I started walking Ginger a lot. I'd want to get away from my mother or my sister and taking the dog on a walk was my little getaway. Feel bad for that little dog. Sometimes I wanted to be away from a long time and I'd take her on a four mile walk. Not sure if that was good for her or not. Better than not walking her I guess.
Age 16 - The car. God I LOVED having my license. I loved being able to get in the car and go places. I loved getting in the car and cruising around town or going for a drive out in the country. You can ask any of my friends. Tim Wehr, Zach Steinhart, Joel Straube, Clint Albert, Andrew Nieuwsma, Seth Beinhart. Hell even people I wasn't really friends with. If anyone ever wanted to go for a ride, I was always up for it. I'd say of all things in high school, this may be what I miss most. I really miss going for rides with my friends.
13. Who Was Your Favorite Teacher?
Age 8 - Mrs. Fritchen. I really liked Mrs. Fritchen and I think the reason why is because I always felt she cared about us as people and not just students. What a nice and influential lady. All these years later I can still remember many great stories about her. Very happy I had her as one of my educators.
Age 12 - Jack Kitzman. I've always thought very highly of Jack and one of the reasons was because he was such a fair teacher. Fairness means everything to me. I cannot stand being treated unfairly and I hate it whenever I think I've been unfair to someone. I remember when I student taught & later when I substitute taught, the one thing everyone praised me about was how fair I was. I guess I'm an old man now because I've had different kids come up to me that I taught 10-15 years ago come up to me and tell me that out of all the subs they ever had I was their favorite. "I was the bad kid from the bad home, but you treated me like I was just as important as the star football player." I guess in the minds of guys like Josh Smith, I wasn't cut out to be a teacher. Yeah, but how many kids have said that to him?
Age 16 - I'd say at this time Gary Garles. Coach Jeff Kirby and Mrs. Murtaugh (now Ms. Mann) were very important to me as well. I was lucky to have such great educators at Sigourney. Looking back that is what I am most praiseful about during my time in high school. Sigourney had some of the best.
14. What Were Your Grades Like?
Age 8 - Honestly, I have no idea. I think I did ok though. I must have. I don't remember Dad ever being pissed at this time.
Age 12 - For the most part pretty good. Only bad grade I was getting was in Mrs. Wallerich's class. Other than that, I was a B's, few A's student.
Age 16 - Still pretty good. Math always kicked my ass, but other than that I did ok. 3.3 GPA at the time. So nothing to write home about, but respectful.
15. Best Friend?
Age 8 - Tim Wehr. Tim and I clicked from the first day we met. A common interest in TMNT and making one another laugh. I"m sad sometimes that our lives took us in different directions. We'll always be friends, but there was something magical about age 6 through about age 22 or so. I'll say the same for Chris Thompson. He's the first friend I ever had. Age four or so. We were like brothers from 4 to 19. Then still fairly close from 20-23 or so. I don't see much of him anymore. We lead different lives. Yet to this day and till the day I die, he's blood as far as I'm concerned. I knew growing up that in any situation at any time, he always had my back. I can't say that about too many other people, but I can Chris Thompson.
Age 12 - Still good friends with Tim and Chris, but this is also when I began to become really close with Clint Albert. Like Chris, one of the few people I knew in any situation would always have my back. If I had to testify the greatest people I've ever known in my life, Clint might even be #1. He's be in the top five anyway. He's one of the best friends I ever had in my life.
Age 16 - And now to talk about the third guy I know will always have my back in any situation and that I'll always have his. Joel Straube is my best friend today. There's nothing I wouldn't do for the guy. He's the realist, truest friend I'll ever have in life. I don't know much about this life I guess, but what I do know is how difficult it is to find real friends. How rare true friendship is. I guess that's why I value it so much.
16. Worst Enemy?
Age 8 - Jeff Cooley. God we hated one another at this time. A feud that would go on for four years until one day I snapped and threw that little s.o.b. in a head lock and damn near choked the life out of him. It was the last day he ever picked on me.
Age 12 - I was too consumed by the death of Sydney to notice if anyone disliked me
Age 16 - To this day I'm still not 100% sure why but Ben Hammes hated my guts. I can speculate and guess as to why, but I cant for sure put my finger on it. I don't hold anything against Ben today. Or at least I don't think I do. I don't think he hates me anymore either. Maybe he does. I don't know. Either way I'm good. If Ben wants to be cool with me and shake my hand, Hell I'd give the dude a hug. I have no reason to hold anything against him anymore. Yet, if he for some reason still dislikes me. Ok, I don't give a shit.
17. Who Did you Have a Crush on?
Age 8 - Ashley Schroder. I have always had a thing for red heads. Ever since I was really little, I've thought red headed women were the most beautiful women in the world. I don't know for sure, but I think it's because the woman that taught me to swim, Michelle Grallup, was red headed. I can't think of any other reason why I've always had a thing for red heads. I can remember Ashley finding out that I liked her and she was NOT happy about it at all. She told me to stop liking her immediately and that I should never like her or any other girl ever again. I was far too fat, ugly and weird for anyone to ever appreciate the fact that I liked them. I hold nothing against Ashley for this. She was a 7 or 8 year old little kid. It'd be petty and foolish of me to hold that against her. Yet it did have an effect on how I saw myself. I believed those words for a long time. A really long time.
Age 12 - No one. I was so distraught and out of it because of Sydney's death that girls were the furthest thing from my mind.
Age 16 - I'm not shy or embarrassed to admit crushes but ironically this was another time in my life where I didn't have anything for anyone. I had a crush in ninth grade and in eleventh grade, as well as a girl who had a crush on me. Yet at this time in my life, my sophomore year, it wasn't something that concerned me.