WRITING EXERCISE: 17 Questions At Three Different Ages

 Currently reading a book at the moment to improve my writing skills.  An exercise has been recommended to look at myself at three different ages and answer seventeen questions apiece.  The goal is to see how much change a person goes through in their life.  

Age 8 - I would've been in first grade
Age 12 - I would've been in sixth grade
Age 16 - I would've been a sophomore in high school. 


1. What Scared You The Most? 

Age 8 - I was death defyingly terrified of E.T.  It's comical to think of now.  I would list E.T. as one of my top twenty five films of all time.  Yet back in those days I would have night terrors of him. No idea why but I was scared to death of him.  One day I forced myself to watch the entire film from start to finish and that night I had a good dream about him. Laugh if you must but it was at the time one of the bravest things I ever did. 

Age 12 -  I thought at the time that the answer to all of my problems was getting to live with my Dad and I was terrified that if I didn't get to live with him, that my life would turn out like shit. This year in my life my parents had a long, nasty custody hearing over me.  My mom won and I was devastated. I thought I was being robbed of a better life.  

Age 16 - Ironically enough this is the time that I went to go live with my Dad. I found out a short time into it how wrong I was that living with him would be a good idea. It actually turned out to be one of the worst ideas I ever had.  At the time it began to make me question a lot of things in life.  I had felt so strongly about living with my father. Felt so confident and assured that living with him would better and benefit my life.  Looking back now, I realize I would have been better off to have stayed living with my mother.  At least in some says. It really messed with my confidence and my ability to trust my instincts and have faith in my decisions.  This was the time in my life when I began to doubt things. 

2. What Angered You The Most? 

Age 8 - Jeff Cooley.  He was a kid at school that had moved to the area from Texas. I don't know what it was about me, but as soon as he saw me he thought I'd be a great target to bully.  I think it was because I was fat and sensitive. Most of his bullying came in the form of picking on me about my weight or laughing at me because I cried easy. I hated him with a passion. 

Age 12 - The death of my sister Sydney. It happened on March 3rd of that year.  I was filled up with so much rage, confusion and guilt at the time. I bottled a lot of it up.  I wasn't sure how to handle it or what to do with it.  Led to a very depressing time in my life. 

Age 16 - Not having more success at wrestling.  I had given up a chance to go on a vacation that summer to instead attend the University of Iowa's 12 Day Intensive Wrestling Camp, known nationally as one of the toughest wrestling camps in the United States. I spent all summer working on my technique and all fall running to improve my conditioning.  Yet all the hard work did not translate into success on the mat.  As a result I was very angry about this.  There were other kids on the team that didn't work any where near as hard. Some that didn't even work hard at all and they were having way more success than I was.  I was extremely angry about it at the time. 

3. What Worried You the Most? 

Age 8 - Pleasing my father.  People remember me being such a strange weird little kid, and a lot of that had to do with how strict my father was. He was extremely particular about clothes.  You did NOT come home with a food stain on your shirt. You did NOT come home with mud on your shoes.  You did NOT come home with a spec of dust on your jacket.  I can remember once at school a kid squirted me with a bottle of ketchup and I had to be taken to the nurse because they thought I was having a panic attack. 

Age 12 - This will make you laugh.  Here I am having spent the last eighteen years of my life trying to make it as a writer.  I'm the closest to that dream I have ever been in my life.  Yet at the time, I was barely passing Mrs. Wallerich's English courses.  I did not mesh with that woman at all. Nothing I did was ever right for her. It was not a matter of effort. I gave her plenty of that.  My report card first quarter was a D+.  I can remember being terrified to go home. The ass chewing I got when my Dad received my report card was so intense and so severe that as a 35 year old man who put up 315 lbs  four times at the gym last night, I still shake in fear when I think about it.  She called my father the next day to tell him that she had made a mistake and that my grade was actually a C-.  I always wondered if she had actually made a mistake or she realized how serious my father was about "Nothing below a C."  I think one day I might ask her. 

Age 16 - What didn't I worry about at this time in my life? I worried about wrestling, I worried about school, I worried about my future.  It's a wonder I didn't start going gray before I hit twenty. I was so pathetic and unsuccessful with women at the time that I thought the chances of dying a virgin and having never kissed a woman were highly probable.  

4. What Did You Want For Your Birthday? 

Age 8 - Anything and everything WWE. I was obsessed with WWE at the time.  Action figures, videos, trading cards, posters, books. If I was WWE I wanted it.  

Age 12 - This was two months post Sydney's death so at the time I didn't want anything.  I think my mom had an idea of how messed up I was so she spent a ton of money and a ton of time throwing me one of the biggest parties I ever had.  Here she was two & a half months post losing her daughter, nearly dying herself and yet throwing me a party with some of my good friends because she thought it might help to drag me out of the depression I was in.  It was a good party.  It was a fun time.  Tim Wehr, Kasey O'Rourke, Matt Sieren, Clint Albert and Charlie Weber all came.   My Dad had a party for me too.   It was Tim Wehr and Clint Albert.  I think both wanted to see me smile.  I didn't do a whole lot of that after Sydney died. 

Age 16 - I don't even know if I did.  I know I got stuff but at the time the only thing I can remember is telling everyone I didn't want a cake because cake was fattening and I didn't need it.  My Aunt Shirley made me one anyway.  Bless her soul, I didn't have a slice of it it though.  God, I was disciplined at that time in my life. 


5. How did you Spend Your Saturdays? 

Age 8 - My parents got divorced in 1991.  I think officially it was November of 1991, or maybe my Dad moved out at that time and they were divorced later. I don't know. I was a little kid. It was like I kept records of that sorta thing back then.  What I do remember is my Dad coming to get me on Friday nights and spending all weekend with him. We could go to the rental store and usually rent one or two movies.  I loved that so much.  Saturday night movie nights with Dad.  Something nearly thirty years later I still cherish. 

Age 12 - Wrestling by this time had consumed my life. From November through March, it was every single weekend.  If you take a map of Iowa, there's not a high school gym (with exception to those that didn't have wrestling programs) that I didn't wrestle in within two & a half hours of Sigourney, Iowa.  Sometimes even up to three.  

Age 16 -  Wrestling still took up most of my life, but at this time I had a bit more freedom. This is right when I received my license.  I'd occasionally hang out with Clint Albert or Chris Thompson, but most of my free time was spent with Tim Wehr or Joel Straube.  This is when I started my friendship with Nicole Smith and Yhadra Oviedo too. My first real time of being friends with members of the opposite sex. 

6.  What Did You Want To Be When You Grew Up? 

Age 8 - A garbage man.  At the time I thought it would be cool to be the guy that rode on the back of the garbage truck and threw the trash into the back. I suppose it'd suck in the winter, but during the summer it looked like a great way to spend the day.  

Age 12 - An entertainer.  I made up my mind around this time in my life that in some capacity I wanted to entertain people. I didn't know exactly how.  Pro wrestling, creative writing, acting, singing (HA!!!!), I had no idea what to focus in on, but I knew I wanted to entertain people. 

Age 16 - By this time I knew in my life that if I had any talent, any ability, any real shot, it was going to be with my writing.  Novels, screenplays, short stories, articles, I thought I could do it all.  I kept my mind open to whatever door would eventually open for me.  I didn't realize it was going to take twenty years for a door to open (and that door still hasn't opened yet, although at this time it does appear to be unlocked).  


7. What Was Your Relationship To Your Immediate Family? 

Age 8 - I was pretty close with both my mom and my Dad at this time.  The war between the two was rather bitter, but I hadn't become a weapon of leverage yet. Sara and I were fairly close. Probably did more things together at this time than we ever have since. 

Age 12 - At this time in my life I was very close with my father and very distant from my mother.  Sara didn't really exist in my life much at this time. She was there but she had a very distraught relationship with my mom and Barry and she practically saw little to nothing of my Dad. It was a rough time in her life. She made some decisions that at the time I didn't approve of and I was rather critical of her.  

Age 16 - I had matured more at this time in my life.  Began to see things as they were vs how I thought they were. I remember a good family friend our my mom's at the time saying to me how much of a man he thought I had become.  He didn't know or care much about whether I was a success as a wrestler or not, because he thought I was a success as far as the kind of person and friend I was.  He's since passed. I think of him often.  At the time I was so into myself and my life that I was a good, respectful kid but also a very much keep to myself kind of kid.  I didn't spend much time with my mom & Barry or my Dad.   As to Sara.  Sara was out of the house at this time.  I rarely ever saw or spoke to her. 


8. Describe Your Room

Age 8 - I lived at Box 20, Rural Route 3 on Stone Street in Sigourney.  You walked into my room and my bed was off to the left. To the wall was a book shelf and to the right was a toy chest.  I didn't spend much time in my room as a kid.  I was more of a living room kind of guy. 

Age 12 - Lived at 729 West Jackson.  Had a desk to the west of my bed where I spent a lot of time writing.  Some of the first ideas I ever came up with for novels or screenplays happened at that desk.  The rest of the room was full of posters, pictures and other things that had meaning in my life. 

Age 16 - Lived at 810 South Stuart.  Bed in the center of the room.  Closet on the south side, dresser on the west. Had a 9/11 memorabilia poster on the west side, a Halloween poster on the east and a Johnny Thompson autographed poster on the north side walls. 


9.  Relationship With Your Grandparents? 

Age 8 -  I was very lucky and very fortunate that nearly all of my Grandparents and nearly all of my great grandparents were still alive at this point.  My Grandpa Harry lived in town and we saw quite a bit of him. My Dad was extremely good about making sure that I got to see plenty of my Great Grandpa and Grandma Stonebraker. They lived in Bloomfield a little less than an hour away.  Dad took me to see them no less than twelve times a year.  It was a Sunday afternoon every month.  Can't say I appreciated it enough at this time in my life, but I did later on.   My Grandma Danels also lived in town and I was extremely close with her.  She babysat me all the time. Often let me have Chris Thompson come over too.  She was so good to him, that he called her Grandma too.   

As to my maternal grandparents I saw quite a bit of them too.  My Grandpa Grimm was sort of a mystery to me at this time.  I didn't see a whole lot of him, but I thought he was a neat guy.  He used the swear words no one else would use and I was very curious about these words at the time.  My mom took me to see Grandma Harding fairly often, but she had gotten divorced and was helping my Aunt Brenda to raise Cody, so she was working extremely hard at her job. 

We also saw quite a bit of Grandma Fox.  She would babysit me occasionally when my sister and mom would go on long shopping sprees.  One of my favorite memories was when she helped me organize my WWF trading card collection. She made me read the back of each card to her and tell her all about the wrestlers.  She didn't know or care anything about them, but she knows I did. 


Age 12 - About the same as age 8.  

Age 16 - This is when my Dad's influence began to rub off on me. If anyone ever ask me to describe some of my father's best traits and qualities, I would say it is an appreciation for people. It's weird because I've always felt my Dad has gone out of his way to let the people important in his life know that they're important to him. That he values the impact & influence they've had on him.  Ironically enough, the only person I've ever felt that he wasn't this way with, is me.    

This Covid-19 thing has been killing me because I have that same instinct from my father and I think he got it from his father, Grandpa Harry.  At age 16 when I had my license, I was very good about going to visit people, especially grandparents.  My Grandma Fox told my mom shortly before her death that between myself and Spencer, we had come to see her more than any of her other great grandkids. 


10.  Favorite Cousins? 

Age 8 - I was very close with my cousin Cody around this time.  I loved to teach him things and show him things. My mom tells me that at this time I really wanted a little brother, and I think it's because I had so much fun with Cody.  I always wanted to go see him and I always wanted him to come to our house.  I just thought he was the neatest thing in the world. 

Age 12 -  I was still pretty close with Cody at this time.  I remember my Dad and I once taking my uncle Chris and Cody to a wrestling tournament with us.  I thought it was so strange that my Dad and Mom were divorced, yet my Dad was still riding in a car with my Uncle Chris (my mom's sister's husband).  

Age 16 - Still thought a lot of Cody but this is around the time I got to also know my cousin Spencer pretty well too.  This is when I discovered just how cool and neat of a person he was.  Made me wish I knew him better growing up but we lived pretty far apart.  Good guy.  To this day still consider him to be one of the best people I've ever known in life. 


11. Vacations? 

Age 8 - Both my parents were financially drained from an expensive, long, drawn out divorce. No vacation for Stephen. 

Age 12 - Ha!! Now here's a story for you.  My Mom had gotten remarried around this time.  Flew for the first time in my life to Orlando, Florida and had a lot of fun visiting Daytona and Orlando.  Disney, Universal Studios, Sea World and all sorts of stuff.  Not to be outdone, Dad flew us out to New Jersey to visit his cousins.  That was a lot of fun too.  Most memorable part of that trip was taking a ferry from Cape May, New Jersey to Louis, Delaware.  Never got off the boat though.  So I've seen Delaware, but I've never stepped foot in it. 

Age 16 - I had various opportunities to go on various vacations but I always turned them down to go to wrestling camps instead. A lot of people call me bitter about my high school wrestling career. Josh Swafford said I was "negative" about it.  Well I guess in some ways he's right. I sacrificed so much for the sport. I put so much effort, work and energy into it.   I'm not so much angry anymore that I didn't succeed.  That doesn't bother me that much anymore. It's more the doubt people have. The questioning they have.  Wrestling has this false belief that the only reason you don't succeed, is because you didn't work hard enough. Because you didn't want it bad enough.  That I'm still bitter about. That I'm still pissed off about.  I went to two wrestling camps in the summer when I had chances to go to California, Georgia and all sorts of neat places. Don't tell me I didn't want to succeed at wrestling.  I'm damn near 40 years old and I've wanted to see California since I was 7.  I didn't see California and I might not ever see California.  Why? Cause I thought going to wrestling camp was more important. Don't ever tell me I didn't want to succeed. 


12. Where was your escape? Where did You Go to Get away from it all? 

Age 8 - My action figures.  There was a lot of fighting at my home at this time.  My WWE, TMNT and other action figures were my get away.  I'd go into this world, where all I knew was what I created in my little scenes with the action figures. I think at age eight I could have been a decent booker for the WWE.  I had my own Wrestlemanias, my own Summerslams, my own Royal Rumbles and my own Survivor Series.  

Age 12 - This is when I started walking Ginger a lot.  I'd want to get away from my mother or my sister and taking the dog on a walk was my little getaway.  Feel bad for that little dog.  Sometimes I wanted to be away from a long time and I'd take her on a four mile walk.  Not sure if that was good for her or not.  Better than not walking her I guess. 

Age 16 - The car.  God I LOVED having my license. I loved being able to get in the car and go places.  I loved getting in the car and cruising around town or going for a drive out in the country.  You can ask any of my friends. Tim Wehr, Zach Steinhart, Joel Straube, Clint Albert, Andrew Nieuwsma, Seth Beinhart.  Hell even people I wasn't really friends with.  If anyone ever wanted to go for a ride, I was always up for it.  I'd say of all things in high school, this may be what I miss most.  I really miss going for rides with my friends. 


13. Who Was Your Favorite Teacher? 

Age 8 - Mrs. Fritchen.  I really liked Mrs. Fritchen and I think the reason why is because I always felt she cared about us as people and not just students.  What  a nice and influential lady.  All these years later I can still remember many great stories about her.  Very happy I had her as one of my educators. 

Age 12 - Jack Kitzman. I've always thought very highly of Jack and one of the reasons was because he was such a fair teacher.  Fairness means everything to me. I cannot stand being treated unfairly and I hate it whenever I think I've been unfair to someone.  I remember when I student taught  & later when I substitute taught, the one thing everyone praised me about was how fair I was.  I guess I'm an old man now because I've had different kids come up to me that I taught 10-15 years ago come up to me and tell me that out of all the subs they ever had I was their favorite.  "I was the bad kid from the bad home, but you treated me like I was just as important as the star football player."   I guess in the minds of guys like Josh Smith, I wasn't cut out to be a teacher. Yeah, but how many kids have said that to him? 

Age 16 - I'd say at this time Gary Garles. Coach Jeff Kirby and Mrs. Murtaugh (now Ms. Mann) were very important to me as well. I was lucky to have such great educators at Sigourney.  Looking back that is what I am most praiseful about during my time in high school. Sigourney had some of the best.  


14.  What Were Your Grades Like? 

Age 8 - Honestly, I have no idea.  I think I did ok though. I must have. I don't remember Dad ever being pissed at this time. 

Age 12 - For the most part pretty good.  Only bad grade I was getting was in Mrs. Wallerich's class. Other than that, I was a B's, few A's student. 

Age 16 - Still pretty good. Math always kicked my ass, but other than that I did ok.  3.3 GPA at the time. So nothing to write home about, but respectful. 


15.  Best Friend? 

Age 8 - Tim Wehr.  Tim and I clicked from the first day we met.  A common interest in TMNT and making one another laugh. I"m sad sometimes that our lives took us in different directions.  We'll always be friends, but there was something magical about age 6 through about age 22 or so.   I'll say the same for Chris Thompson.  He's the first friend I ever had.  Age four or so.  We were like brothers from 4 to 19.  Then still fairly close from 20-23 or so.  I don't see much of him anymore.  We lead different lives.  Yet to this day and till the day I die, he's blood as far as I'm concerned. I knew growing up that in any situation at any time, he always had my back. I can't say that about too many other people, but I can Chris Thompson.  

Age 12 - Still good friends with Tim and Chris, but this is also when I began to become really close with Clint Albert. Like Chris, one of the few people I knew in any situation would always have my back.  If I had to testify the greatest people I've ever known in my life, Clint might even be #1.  He's be in the top five anyway.  He's one of the best friends I ever had in my life. 

Age 16 - And now to talk about the third guy I know will always have my back in any situation and that I'll always have his.  Joel Straube is my best friend today.  There's nothing I wouldn't do for the guy.  He's the realist, truest friend I'll ever have in life.  I don't know much about this life I guess, but what I do know is how difficult it is to find real friends. How rare true friendship is.  I guess that's why I value it so much.  



16.  Worst Enemy? 

Age 8 - Jeff Cooley.  God we hated one another at this time.  A feud that would go on for four years until one day I snapped and threw that little s.o.b. in a head lock and damn near choked the life out of him.  It was the last day he ever picked on me. 

Age 12 - I was too consumed by the death of Sydney to notice if anyone disliked me

Age 16 - To this day I'm still not 100% sure why but Ben Hammes hated my guts.  I can speculate and guess as to why, but I cant for sure put my finger on it.  I don't hold anything against Ben today.  Or at least I don't think I do.  I don't think he hates me anymore either.  Maybe he does.  I don't know.  Either way I'm good. If Ben wants to be cool with me and shake my hand, Hell I'd give the dude a hug.  I have no reason to hold anything against him anymore.  Yet, if he for some reason still dislikes me. Ok, I don't give a shit. 


17.  Who Did you Have a Crush on? 

Age 8 - Ashley Schroder.  I have always had a thing for red heads.  Ever since I was really little, I've thought red headed women were the most beautiful women in the world. I don't know for sure, but I think it's because the woman that taught me to swim, Michelle Grallup, was red headed. I can't think of any other reason why I've always had a thing for red heads. I can remember Ashley finding out that I liked her and she was NOT happy about it at all.  She told me to stop liking her immediately and that I should never like her or any other girl ever again. I was far too fat, ugly and weird for anyone to ever appreciate the fact that I liked them.   I hold nothing against Ashley for this. She was a 7 or 8 year old little kid.  It'd be petty and foolish of me to hold that against her.  Yet it did have an effect on how I saw myself.  I believed those words for a long time.  A really long time. 

Age 12 - No one.  I was so distraught and out of it because of Sydney's death that girls were the furthest thing from my mind. 

Age 16 - I'm not shy or embarrassed to admit crushes but ironically this was another time in my life where I didn't have anything for anyone. I had a crush in ninth grade and in eleventh grade, as well as a girl who had a crush on me. Yet at this time in my life, my sophomore year, it wasn't something that concerned me.