Harry shuffled the deck of cards and pushed it across the table.
"Deal," He said.
"One more hand," I agreed.
It was a way to pass the time. More importantly, it was a way to avoid talking about what it was we had been told to do. Harry & I both knew that a day would come when we were asked to do a favor. We knew a day would come when doing laundry, running errands & making long drives would be behind us. We were both men now. We were no longer kids. It was time to do what men did and to be taken seriously.
We'd been hearing about it sense we were in diapers. While other kids from normal families brought up in normal homes grabbed the newspapers to read the comics or who won between the Oilers & the Leafs, Harry & I were more interested in the obituaries. Most of the time we didn't know who the people were, why they were knocked off or even who did it. We only knew two things. Who ordered it & whether the victim was respected or not. Benelli ordered it. Benelli always ordered it. Your life whether you got to live or die, was always Benelli. If he respected you, it'd be one shot to the heart. Not one scratch to your face. The way he sees it, some kills have nothing to do with liking or hating someone. They're strictly business. Other times, it is personal. You know that when you find someone & they got bullet holes in their face.
Benelli never sends someone out on their first time alone. You always go together & your accompanied by someone with experience. Anton is accompanying us tonight. He's supposed to be here in an hour. I swear I've never had a clock mess with me more tonight than this one has. I think it's been screwing with Harry too. We want our cake & we want to eat it too. It pisses us off that the time won't go by faster. We want to get this done & over with. At the exact same time, we sweat a little more teach time the minute hand gets closer to twelve. Anton will be here right at seven & I know Harry will be no more ready than I am.
I always thought that when this moment came that it'd be one of two people. Some guy that I had absolutely no connection with or some asshole that I was more than happy to knock off. That's what I hoped for. I mean I do wonder what it'd be like to end the life of a guy I don't even know. Maybe that'd be harder than I think. Benelli has brought us up to feel that how he feels about someone is how we feel about someone. So I guess if Benelli hates someone then I hate them too. Or at least that's what I've been trying to tell myself the past three days.
See it isn't a stranger & it isn't a guy I hate. It isn't a guy Harry hates either. It's Alfonso. We call him "Alf" after the old 80's show. Known him since we were in Grade nine. Son of a bitch got me a date with Julie Anderson & convinced me that I'd make one Hell of a goalie after I found out I wasn't worth a shit at every other position. Made all conference three years in a row. If anything I owe Alf something & it ain't at all what I'm gonna be giving him later tonight.
I guess maybe I do hate him. Maybe I hate him for the same reason Benelli hates him. He screwed up. He screwed up bad. Cost us nearly half a million bucks & what could be the end of our run in the underground cigarette trade. I don't know why he had to be so foolish. Why he had to be so careless. I know Harry is thinking the same thing. It's why he he pulled out a deck of cards & has had us playing all night. It's why a second ago he slammed his fist on the table & asked me if I was gonna lay a card or play with my pecker all night. Harry considers Alf a friend too, not someone he wants to decorate in lead.
I lay my card down as he draws another. I feel like saying something but I know better. I want to talk about what's already been talked about. I want to discuss, what'd already been discussed. I know what Alf did. I know how stupid it was. I know what he should have done differently. Harry knows all of this too & we both know no matter how many times we wish we could go back in time & change it we can't. It is what it is. What happened happened. What needs to happen will happen.
Alf was supposed to make sure that the cigarettes got from Detroit to Toronto to Montreal without problems. If he had done what he was supposed to, when he was supposed to do it, none of this would've happened. You can't get sloppy in this business. You CAN NOT get cocky. You CAN NOT get lazy. There's no room in this business for that. God damn it, Alf knew that. He KNEW THAT! When you have a shipment of $450,000 worth of cigarettes, you know where it is at all times. I just don't get why Alf....
DING DONG!
"Jesus Frenchie!" Harry lets out a little laugh. "Get yourself together. Anton won't take you if he thinks you can't do it."
"I know."
"Put on your jacket." He says to me as he puts the cards down on the table & stands up to grab his own. "Check your piece. Make sure it's ready."
I go to grab my jacket & my gun. Snub-nose revolver. Eight bullets. Never been shot. Benelli gave it to me as an initiation gift. To be honest I'd like to wake up tomorrow morning saying that the gun still has never been shot. On a personal level, Anton leaves me here while he & Harry do the job, it'd be no skin off my back. Skin off my head, but no skin off my back. You see Benelli wouldn't have that. He'd see it as an insult. And the one thing you don't do to Benelli is insult him. He ask you to do a job, you're either dead yourself or you do the job. Anton did his first job 11 years ago when Harry & I were still kids. He had diarrhea & was sicker than a dog. He crapped his pants when he gave Isaac Adams the R.I.P. & it wasn't cause he was nervous.
I look over at Harry & wonder if he's really taking this better than me. He certainly seems to be. I know I look nervous. I can tell by the shortness of my breath, the high pitched sound of my voice & the shakiness of my hands. Either Harry truly is prepared for this or his ability to hide his apprehension is a Hell of a lot better than mine.
"Benelli let you know what you'll each be getting for this?"
I heard the doorbell ring & I knew Anton had came into the room, but I'm still surprised to see him standing there.
I look at Harry who looks back at me.
"No" Harry and I both speak at the same time.
"Fifteen apiece"
When I was seven I heard my mother and father fighting one night. My father had recently gotten involved with Benelli & my mother was absolutely against it. She yelled & screamed at him all night. She slapped him and hit him, calling him words that I didn't even knew she knew. When she had yelled all she could yell & swung her arms all she could swing, she fell asleep on the stairs. I asked my father what all the yelling was about.
He tried to explain it to me the best he could. I listened but I didn't get it. I didn't understand. All I knew is that we went from macaroni & cheese every night with one toy for Christmas, to shrimp & steak & a tour of Europe during all of December. I asked my father that night why he would leave the factory & do something if he knew it would make my mother angry. He said some day I'd get it.
Today is someday.
"You nervous Harry?" Anton says as we get into his car
"I don't know." Harry doesn't know how to answer.
"How bout you Frenchie?"
"Yeah"
Anton smiles.
"Good." He says. "Always be honest with me fellas. I'll always know when you ain't, so always be honest with me."
"I'm scared." Harry admits it before I do, but I feel I owe it to Harry to stick by him, so I admit it too.
"Relax fellas." Anton smiles again. "I'm gonna do you two the same favor Hans did for me my first time."
Harry & I sit intently as Anton slows around the corner to Alf's.
"I'll shoot first." He says, "By the time I'm unloaded he'll already be dead. All you two gotta do is empty your pistols into a corpse."
As morbid as it may sound, it puts me in a better mood. It relaxes me.
"So we gonna do this right away then?" I can tell by the sound of Harry's voice that Anton's news has him as relieved as it does me.
"No." Anton says as we pull into Alf's driveway. "No. We're gonna let him finish the game first."
With all else on my mind I forgot the Leafs were playing tonight. Alf's favorite team. Honestly, mine too. I think Harry's as well. Playing the Penguins if I'm not mistaken.
We get out of the car & head up to the door. Anton knocks as Alf comes to answer. By the look on his face I can tell he's expecting Anton & that he is not expecting Harry & I.
"Thanks for waiting for my wife & daughter to leave." He says to Anton. "I appreciate that."
He knows. He knows & he's opening up his door & letting us in as if all that's going to happen tonight is four friends sit around his TV watching a hockey game.
"Can I get you guys anything to drink?" He ask as we go inside.
"Sure." Anton says.
"Beer?" Alf ask as he opens up his refrigerator
"Sure." Anton repeats himself
I can't help but wonder if maybe Alf might have drugged the beer somehow. I can't see how he'd have done that as he twist the caps off. I'm almost positive that once you take them off, they're almost impossible to put back on.
Harry & I accept a beer too.
As I sip my beer & watch the other three drink, it soon occurs to me that this beer hasn't been doctored. It's good ole Canadian beer. That's all it is. I know Alf wants one to calm his nerves but I honestly think he gave us all one cause he wants us to calm our nerves as well. In all my life I've experienced a lot of weird shit. You do as a kid growing up in the mob, but to have a guy go out of his way to make your experience of killing him better for you takes the cake.
"Do you mind if I get up to take a piss?" Alf ask as the buzzer signals on the TV for half time. "This beer goes through me fast."
"Go right ahead." Anton says to him as he kicks back his recliner.
Harry gets up to follow Alf as he leaves the room.
"Sit down." Anton says to him.
"What if he tries to leave?" Harry ask
"He won't." Anton says as he takes another drink of beer
"What if he comes back with a gun to try and get rid of all of us?"
"He won't."
Anton puts his beer back down.
"Look guys, you already know this." He says as picks the beer back up. "There ain't no hiding from Benelli. He'll find you. Alf knows this. He knows what he did and he knows the price he's gotta pay for it. He knows that if he tries to run, Benelli will catch him. Not only will he torture him but he'll torture his wife & his kid too."
What Anton said next, he didn't need to. Something I've always wondered about suddenly made sense. It all came together.
"Benelli won't bother either one of them as long as he gets Alf. Alf knows this."
A minute passes before Alf comes back into the room & sits down. I can sense his regret as well as his fear as the game dwindles down. Two minutes left in the final period. If its of any solace, the Leafs lead by two points. They'll win tonight's game.
"Hey Alf." I feel as if something else has taken over my body and is making me say the words.
"Yeah Frenchie?" He says back to me.
"I never thanked you for getting the the date with Julie Anderson."
His eyes tear up as he half smiles and nods.
I continue, "I never thanked you for helping me out in hockey either."
As much as he wants to keep them entrapped the tears escape anyway.
"I mean it Alf" I say to him. "You were a friend to me."
The buzzer sounds a the Toronto Maple Leafs celebrate a 3-1 victory. Anton grabs the remote control and turns the TV off. He stands as Alf looks straight ahead, his eyes deadlocked on the television. Harry & I stand too.
Anton pulls out his gun & fires two shots into Alf. The first one goes through the side of his neck as the other hits his left breastbone. Blood everywhere, I know that Alf is already dead. Four more shots and Anton's gun is empty. He looks over to Harry and I as he nods his head. Harry and I unload our guns into Alf's lifeless body. Here I was seconds ago telling a guy thank you for being a friend to me at a time when I needed one & now I desecrate his body with my gun. I can only hope that there is a life beyond this one. That this is the last pain Alf will ever have to suffer & that one day he'll reunite with his wife and daughter.
Our guns hot & blood covering all of Alf's body, the only thing unscathed minus some blood that will be washed off later is his face.
We begin to walk out of the house, Harry leading the way, Anton in the back & me in the middle.
Anton reaches up & puts his hand on my shoulder. I turn to look at him.
"I know how you feel Frenchie." He says to me as Harry opens the door. "I liked Alf too."
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