I absolutely despise politics with such passion that to say I hate politics is grossly an understatement. I try to keep out of the political debates as much as I possibly can. I vote & I discuss issues in depth with others in formal settings, in civil manner, but I find social media to be an inappropriate platform because of how easily it is to be misconstrued, mislabeled and above anything else misclassified. Assumption and much more so false connotation are two matters that I take serious issue with.
I grew up in a small, conservative community. I spent the first two and three fourths years of my college experience at one of the most conservative and religious institutions in the state of Iowa. I know plenty of Pro-life individuals. I know how they feel. I know why they feel the way they feel. You live in the most conservative community in a state & then later on you work in another extremely conservative/religious town for nearly a year, you've heard all of the positions multiple times.
On the same hand, I have also lived in Iowa's most liberal community twice in my life. I have known a ton of pro-choice individuals. I probably as of today, know more pro-choice individuals than I do pro-life. I know how they feel. I know why they feel the way they feel. You live in the bluest part of the state, you'll hear the positions multiple times.
What fascinates me most is that both sides seem to think the best way of dealing with their opposition (the other side) is the mentality of, "If you'd only see it our way."
So with all that out of the way, I'm not here to discuss abortion with you. How you feel about it and why you feel that way, is your business, and furthermore your right. That doesn't necessarily mean that I agree with you or that I disagree with you. Simply that I understand that you have reason for coming to the conclusions that you did.
BUT, misinformation and ignorance upon something rather dear to my heart is something I can no longer sit and be quiet about. I cringe every time I hear the words, "Unwanted children." An uncomfortable chill runs up and down my spine when I think of how corrupt and antiquated our adoption agency is and furthermore how practically no one is aware of it. I'm going to get very personal here for a second.
My mom and stepfather lost a baby back in 1998. It was one of the most devastating things I have ever seen someone go through. Years later in 2003, I had a cousin that got pregnant and she offered to give her baby to my mother and stepfather. My mom and stepdad paid for all of her doctor appointments, ect. When the baby was born, my cousin changed her mind. I was confused because I thought that there had been legalities that would have protected my mom and stepdad. As we talked, I found out that in this particular case, that there wasn't. I then asked my mom why they didn't look at adopting another child. I was informed that because of an incident that had happened in 1997, my mother was not eligible to adopt. It made me very curious, and so I did a comprehensive, in depth study on adoption in the United States. I was shocked at what I found.
Now each state has its own set of rules and regulations, so not all of these apply to each state. However knowing that they apply to even one is mortifying.
Homosexual couple? Disqualified from adopting
Single male? Disqualified from adopting
Single female? Disqualified from adopting
Are you and your significant other married? No? Disqualified from adopting
Between you and your spouse do you make a combined $100,000 per year or better? No? Disqualified from adopting
Do you and your spouse rent or own your home? Rent? Disqualified from adopting
Have you lived in your place of residency for at least 5 years? No? Disqualified from adopting
Have you been at your place of employment for at least 5 years? No? Disqualified from adopting
Do you have even the simplest mark on your history? Say you got a DUI when you were 21? Disqualified from adopting
Are you younger than 25? Disqualified from adopting
Are you older than 45? Disqualified from adopting
What type of insurance do you carry? Not the right kind? Disqualified from adopting.
It's like holy cow dude, no wonder there's so many "unwanted children." When you disqualify anyone and everyone for anything and everything, there's nobody left! Yes, I did this study nearly 20 years ago and thank Gawd that some of these overtly ridiculous restrictions have been lifted. They haven't all been though, and you can't look at that list and tell that those requirements don't disqualify a large % of people who would love to welcome an adopted child into their homes.
At the time I did the study, the general cost of adopting a baby was around $25,000 to $45,000. I've been reading that those numbers have doubled. That's insane.
I'm not suggesting that there be absolutely no rules or regulations, but I am suggesting that they become more sensible and fair.
I think the corruption within the adoption agencies needs to be addressed and it has needed to be addressed for long period of time. Yet no one is talking about it and everyone seems to continue to have the general consensus that it's simply a matter of these kids ending up in orphanages or foster care because "no one wants them."
I suppose when "no one" only means heterosexual married couples, who own their own home, who have lived in that home for at least 5 years, who have worked their current job for at least 5 years, who make a combined or > $100,000 year, who are older than 25 but younger than 45, who have squeaky clean histories, with the right insurance....then yeah, I guess you're right.
But I don't know too many people who fit all of those requirements, do you?
