OWN IT!

I've experienced it many times in my life. Two times, in the last two weeks. I've been guilty of it before too. People acting/behaving in a way that others would label in an unfavorable or negative way, and not taking ownership in that label, because of the negative connotation associated. The only thing I hate worse than a person lying, is when that person is caught lying, it has been proven that they lied and the continue to deny that they lied. On top of it, they become angry with you if you call them a liar.

People want to lie, but don't you dare call them a liar. People want to contradict themselves, but don't you dare call them a hypocrite. People want to use ever racial slur and refer to minorities with only negative comments, but call them a racist? What?!? Them!?! NEVER!!!

My roommate Joel occasionally smokes a cigarette, but he gets antsy with me if I tell people that he smokes. His response is, "I don't smoke. I just occasionally have a cigarette."  It drives me nuts.  I'm turning 31 years old on May 22nd. I had a cigar on May 22nd, 2006 and then I had another cigar in mid December, 2015. At this rate I have a cigar once every 10 years, far less than the one or two a week that Joel smokes. If someone ask me if I smoke or not, my response is, "I've had two cigars in my life." To me responding, "No" means that you do not smoke. Or at best you have smoked in the past, but you do not now and you don't plan to in the future. Not, "Well, since I don't smoke two packs of smokes a day, I'll say that I don't smoke."

I went in circles the other day with a friend of mine who insisted that I was out of line when I called him discriminatory against homosexuals. He kept on insisting that he wasn't. Finally our conversation ended with me saying, "So, let me get this straight. You are ok with anyone adopting a child, just as long as that someone is not gay?"  To which he replied, "Yes."  Bang.My.Head.Against.The.Wall.

Then another discussion where I called someone a hypocrite and someone came to the defense of that person with excuses....albeit justifiable excuses...as to why the person did what they did. I agreed with the defender that the person had justifiable reasons for doing what he did. I agreed that many people in his position would have done the same thing. I even agreed that others have committed sins far greater than him. But you know what? I still referred to him as a hypocrite.  Why? Because HE IS.

I had a guy in Iowa City I was friends with for a few years. I am no longer friends with him. He is one of the most not liked human beings in Iowa City. People would ask me all the time, "Why are you friends with that guy?"  "He's a prick!"  Yes, he was a prick.  You know what I liked and respected about him the most? He admitted it!! He OWNED it.  All the time? No, but he would on more than one occasion say, "Oh yeah, I'm a total asshole." That's more than most people are willing to do.

Two years ago, I called UBER out for underhanded moves and monopolization tactics that undermined the integrity of capitalism. This past September, I joined the UBER team. C.J. Wurpts, one who demands a respect he's unwilling to show within his own right, called me out. He called me a hypocrite. It crossed my mind to defend myself. I thought of justifications. Then I asked myself to be honest.  You know what? C.J. was right. My response back to him was, "I agree. In this particular case, I am a hypocrite."  I OWNED it.

I'm not attracted to overweight women. I do not find obesity to be sexually stimulating or attractive. For years, I would deny and strongly resist anyone referring to me as shallow or superficial. I knew people far more shallow and superficial than myself. People I love and admire more than I do most people, were heavier people. I didn't want them to think of me as shallow or superficial. You know what? Not wanting to be romantically or intimately involved with someone because of the way their body looks is STILL shallow. It is STILL superficial.  So am I superficial? Am I shallow?  To a degree, you bet I am.

Of course this can be a rather subjective discussion, but there is a difference between having a difference of opinion and being in crystal clear denial.  You think that white, heterosexual Christians should be treated  with superiority and granted rights, privileges and advantages over others? Well, great! But don't say, "No, I'm not" when someone calls you a bigot. Yes, you are.  OWN  IT!