OWN IT!

I've experienced it many times in my life. Two times, in the last two weeks. I've been guilty of it before too. People acting/behaving in a way that others would label in an unfavorable or negative way, and not taking ownership in that label, because of the negative connotation associated. The only thing I hate worse than a person lying, is when that person is caught lying, it has been proven that they lied and the continue to deny that they lied. On top of it, they become angry with you if you call them a liar.

People want to lie, but don't you dare call them a liar. People want to contradict themselves, but don't you dare call them a hypocrite. People want to use ever racial slur and refer to minorities with only negative comments, but call them a racist? What?!? Them!?! NEVER!!!

My roommate Joel occasionally smokes a cigarette, but he gets antsy with me if I tell people that he smokes. His response is, "I don't smoke. I just occasionally have a cigarette."  It drives me nuts.  I'm turning 31 years old on May 22nd. I had a cigar on May 22nd, 2006 and then I had another cigar in mid December, 2015. At this rate I have a cigar once every 10 years, far less than the one or two a week that Joel smokes. If someone ask me if I smoke or not, my response is, "I've had two cigars in my life." To me responding, "No" means that you do not smoke. Or at best you have smoked in the past, but you do not now and you don't plan to in the future. Not, "Well, since I don't smoke two packs of smokes a day, I'll say that I don't smoke."

I went in circles the other day with a friend of mine who insisted that I was out of line when I called him discriminatory against homosexuals. He kept on insisting that he wasn't. Finally our conversation ended with me saying, "So, let me get this straight. You are ok with anyone adopting a child, just as long as that someone is not gay?"  To which he replied, "Yes."  Bang.My.Head.Against.The.Wall.

Then another discussion where I called someone a hypocrite and someone came to the defense of that person with excuses....albeit justifiable excuses...as to why the person did what they did. I agreed with the defender that the person had justifiable reasons for doing what he did. I agreed that many people in his position would have done the same thing. I even agreed that others have committed sins far greater than him. But you know what? I still referred to him as a hypocrite.  Why? Because HE IS.

I had a guy in Iowa City I was friends with for a few years. I am no longer friends with him. He is one of the most not liked human beings in Iowa City. People would ask me all the time, "Why are you friends with that guy?"  "He's a prick!"  Yes, he was a prick.  You know what I liked and respected about him the most? He admitted it!! He OWNED it.  All the time? No, but he would on more than one occasion say, "Oh yeah, I'm a total asshole." That's more than most people are willing to do.

Two years ago, I called UBER out for underhanded moves and monopolization tactics that undermined the integrity of capitalism. This past September, I joined the UBER team. C.J. Wurpts, one who demands a respect he's unwilling to show within his own right, called me out. He called me a hypocrite. It crossed my mind to defend myself. I thought of justifications. Then I asked myself to be honest.  You know what? C.J. was right. My response back to him was, "I agree. In this particular case, I am a hypocrite."  I OWNED it.

I'm not attracted to overweight women. I do not find obesity to be sexually stimulating or attractive. For years, I would deny and strongly resist anyone referring to me as shallow or superficial. I knew people far more shallow and superficial than myself. People I love and admire more than I do most people, were heavier people. I didn't want them to think of me as shallow or superficial. You know what? Not wanting to be romantically or intimately involved with someone because of the way their body looks is STILL shallow. It is STILL superficial.  So am I superficial? Am I shallow?  To a degree, you bet I am.

Of course this can be a rather subjective discussion, but there is a difference between having a difference of opinion and being in crystal clear denial.  You think that white, heterosexual Christians should be treated  with superiority and granted rights, privileges and advantages over others? Well, great! But don't say, "No, I'm not" when someone calls you a bigot. Yes, you are.  OWN  IT!

My Top 10 Most Satisfying Movie Endings

10. The Departed

Let's tap into the part of my psyche that gives people merit to call me strange. Truth is, I didn't care all that much for The Departed. I'm not much of a Mark Wahlberg fan and the movie didn't do much for me. It's ironic, because I often complain about movies that are generally good overall, but are in partial ruined because of a bad ending. An example would be Stephen King's It. Now I'm doing the exact opposite. I'm mentioning a movie I find mediocre in general and praising its rewarding and satisfying ending. Towards the end of the film, you are left to think that Colin Sullivan is going to get away with it and suddenly out of left field Dignam shows up and as John Lennon would say, "Instant Karma."  The reason why this scene is so rewarding to me, is because the rest of the film hands us one injustice after another, thus making the moment of justice all the more rewarding.

9. Free Willy

I love this ending. I love everything about this ending.  From the story, to the acting, to the cinematography to the musical score.  Everything about this ending is right. To me the whole movie and this scene especially, is about freedom. Jesse freeing himself from fear and doubt and learning to trust his adopted parents. Glen freeing himself much in the same way Jesse did. I love it when Jesse ask Glen to help him and Glen backs the truck straight into the water. I realize Michael Madsen has a huge arsenal of roles to his name, but his role as Glen is by far my favorite. He almost always plays sleazeball gangsters in films, and I don't get why, as he was excellent as the tough-love father figure here. Then of course, I have to mention the literal freedom of Willy.  There are many times in my life where I've felt trapped. I've felt as Bruce Cockburn would say that I'm, "pacing the cage."  When Willy takes that risk and he jumps over those rocks and into freedom I feel as if a locked door has been opened.  It makes me feel free.

8. Teen Wolf 

Teen Wolf is one of my top twenty films of all time. When I was little there was a spin-off cartoon series I used to watch on a regular basis. I was unaware of the film. Yet one day when my mom took me up town to rent a film, there it was. I took it home, watched and I've watched it over 100 times since. The film's ending has always been special to me, but as I've gotten older it's gotten even better. When I was little, it was all about Scott showing Mick up and winning the basketball game. Now it's more about Scott becoming a man and discovering the true rewards in life. I can't think of a movie that has a more clever way of portraying puberty. When Scott brushes past Pamela and goes to find Boof, I want to reach through the screen and give him a high five. We don't win that often in life, but God when we do, does it feel good. Teen Wolf's ending reminds me of that.

7. The Best of Times 

I think film makers made the right choice by making this film a comedy, but it could have just as easily been made a drama. Matter of fact, I've always watched the film as a drama. I've never seen the film as the hilarious, comic relief that most do. To me the character of Jack Dundee is all to real. It hits very close to home. It seems far fetched to think that the ending of a football game would bother someone twenty years after it happened and that they'd think about it all the time and let it bother them on a daily basis. That's why the film needed to be a comedy in order to have an audience. Most people couldn't relate to a character who would do such a thing. I can. I know what it's like to want let past failures haunt you. I know what it's like to often find yourself wishing you had something to do all over again. For me it wasn't football, it was high school wrestling, but the feelings are the same, even if the activity is different. Jack would give anything to be able to go back and catch that ball and I'd give anything to step on the mat again with Daniel Garrett. It's why the ending of the film is so rewarding to me.  Watching Jack catch the ball and finally let go of the pain and regret that has burdened him most of his life. I'm much more over the fact that I wasn't the great high school wrestler that I wanted to be, now, than what I used to be. Yet, it still bugs me. There are days when it downright depresses me. Yet, I know that there will be a day when like Jack, I catch that pass and I score that touchdown. I think that day will come when I professionally publish my first novel. Matter of fact, I'm certain of it.

6. Rudy 

I like Joe Montana and I put him as the greatest quarterback to ever play the game of football, but I think he was out of line with his negative comments about Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger and Rudy. We're not all born with immense talents and abilities. Montana can claim that he worked extremely hard to be as good as he was, and he probably did. Yet, he worked hard as an extraordinarily talented man, who was born with natural gifts and abilities that most people don't have. In some ways I think Montana is jealous or angry that someone not nearly as talented or as good as he was, is just as recognizable a name in Notre Dame football history as is he. Maybe Montana feels that because Rudy wasn't talented, that he didn't deserve his moment in the sun and that glory should only be granted to the gifted.Well, he can feel however he wants to feel, but success cannot be denied to those who will do anything to get it. Never give up, that's the message of the story.  And the ending, exemplifies why.

5. JAWS

"Smile you son of a bitch!"  Is there a more epic line? I have no problem thinking deeply and getting all philosophical on why an ending is captivating to me with a sophisticating explanation, but sometimes it is no more than because it is exciting and it is fun. The stakes are extremely high, Brody knows this is his last chance and it's either him or the shark. Even though I've seen the movie 1,000 times between owning it and not changing the channel when I run across it on TV, and I know what is going to happen, I still experience a sense of urgency. It's a fun ending.

4. Leon: The Professional 

Usually endings either piss me off or they make me happy. Rarely do they ever do both at the exact same time. Matter of fact, I can't think of any other film that does. The bittersweet ending of injustice and justice colliding to give us such a unique ending, is rather satisfying in a strange way. It's heartbreaking to know that this isn't going to end happily for Leon and Matilda, yet it's rewarding to know that Stansfield is finally going to get what we've wanted to see happen to him the entire film. Great films toy with our emotions, and few do as well with that technique as Leon: The Professional. 

3. Rocky III

I haven't seen Creed yet, but out of the other six films, Rocky III is my favorite. I love the story of a man who has lost his mentor and his edge, his killer extinct and his hunger and how he gets it back through the help of an old enemy who turns out to be one of his best friends. To watch him walk into the ring, already knowing he's won the fight before it even takes place is inspirational and motivational. One of the worst feelings is to give up on yourself and lose the fire that burns within you to succeed. Seeing that fire relit as Rocky takes it to Clubber Lang, knocking him out is a rewarding experience every time I watch the movie. Having been involved in a competitive one on one sport like boxing (amateur wrestling) I know the truth in developing friendships and strong bonds with your opponents. The friendship between Balboa and Creed, I think is one of the things that makes this film work as well as it does for me. Watching Apollo, his former greatest enemy in the ring, push him and refuse to give up on him, wanting to see him succeed.....Love this film, love its ending.

2. Superman II

To be clear, I'm talking about the original theatrical release directed by  Richard Lester. As a more liberal minded individual who usually tries to solve conflicts diplomatically, I have to say that sometimes it feels good to kick ass. I still believe that all other avenues and solutions should be exhausted before one resorts to violence but sometimes it is the answer. I can remember the first time I saw Superman II. I was only four years old at the time, but I remember it well. All hope was lost and the bad guys had won. Then suddenly Superman starts to crush Zod's hand and all hope is restored.Some people like Richard Donner's version better where Zod and his gang are once again imprisoned and prefer it over Lester's version where the three of them are killed. They say it goes against Superman's nature to kill and they feel it is out of character. Normally I would agree, but Superman knew the probability of Zod's escape and the dire consequences that would result if he were to have won. He could not put the Earth or the people of the Earth in such jeopardy again, thus in this particular case killing Zod was a decision of thought,rather than personal vengeance. This film reminds me of my childhood and how watching great films like this helped me to develop my imagination and create my own stories. Sometimes when watching it, I forget that I'm a 30 year old man with my own home in my own living room. Sometimes I still picture myself back at my old house in Sigourney, Iowa, with my Dad, sitting on the living room floor watching Superman kick ass. It's very nostalgic for me.

1. The Princess Bride 

I've seen The Princess Bride 100's of times in my life, and each time I fall in love with the sub-story of Inigo Montoya and his determination to avenge his father's murder. I admire dedication, and I admire those who dedicate their lives to achieving their goals, working extraordinarily hard to make them happen. The character is written so well, and played so impeccably by Mandy Patinkin, that I find myself wanting him to succeed in his quest, as much as he wants to succeed. From the moment he tells his story to Westley, up unto the final confrontation between him and Count Rugen, the movie builds the anticipation. My heart sinks, every time I watch the scene where Count Rugen throws the knife into Montoya's belly, and it seems that failure is inevitable. I cannot stop my eyes from tearing up when Montoya utters the words, "I'm sorry father, I tried." I feel cheated. I feel wronged and for a moment I hate life for how cruel and unfair it can be. Then out of nowhere Montoya continues to fight, because his determination is greater than even he knew. He continues to fight because the will to succeed is greater than the force of fate that tries to stop him. He refuses to lose, even if it is subconsciously. When he finally gets his revenge and says, "I want my father back you son of a bitch" it is the most rewarding thing I've ever witnessed in cinema. He does not experience the moment of relief and the moment of victory alone. I am there, sharing it with him.

  

Welcome to the Fourth Reich (Parody)

(PARODY OF BAD MOON RISING BY CCR) 

I see a fourth Reich arising
I see racists have their say
I see animosity heightening
I see our nation in decay

Don’t be gay tonight
Well he’s bound to take your rights
welcome to the fourth Reich

I see hostility a growing
I fear minorities are doomed
I see liberties forgoing
I see white males a constant shoe-in

Don’t be a woman tonight
well he’s bound to take your rights
welcome to the fourth Reich

Justice is about to leave altogether
Equality, is about to go bye-bye
Hell, a result of his bellwether
This is the Fourth Reich

Don’t be non-Christian tonight
well he’s bound to take your rights
welcome to the fourth Reich