Likelihood of Original ROSEANNE Characters Making appearances on New ROSEANNE

After a 20 year layoff, season 10 of ROSEANNE is here!  Noticeable differences scattered among memorable similarities in a show that is thus far a fun mixture of hilarious jokes and one liners mixed with relatable drama. In many ways ROSEANNE season 10 picked exactly where ROSEANNE season 9 left off. Or better put, where ROSEANNE season 7 left off, as the new ROSEANNE seems to omit all of the nonsense that was seasons 8 and 9.

With as much that has been included thus far in only two episodes, it begs the question as to who else will make a return to the show?  There are some questions that obviously answer themselves. We already know we won't be seeing Nana, as the late Shelly Winters sadly left us in 2006.  It's almost certain that Grandpa Conner won't be on the show as well. Even though Ned Beatty is still alive, the character died of a heart attack in season 6.  The only reason to tease the possibility of a small cameo of Grandpa Conner is that weirder things have happened on ROSEANNE. If a short subtle scene in the garage can quickly dismiss Dan's death from 20 years prior, I'm sure writer's could somehow bring Grandpa Conner back to life if the wanted.  Sadly enough, another character we know we won't be seeing is Prince Carlos.  For two reasons.  A - we lost the bundle of talent 18 years ago to lung cancer and B - it's not even certain if he were a real person to begin with.

Now onto the characters that have at least some possibility of returning to the show.....

David
(Johnny Galecki)

It's 100% certain that we will see David on the new ROSEANNE.   It's already been confirmed and other fans of the show have indicated that they've already seen stills with him in it. As he's divorced from Darlene and the father of her two children it'll be interesting to see what they do with his character. If maybe he'll play a role similar to the character of Fred from the original series or if their will be a reconciliation between him and Darlene. In reality scheduling conflicts with THE BIG BANG THEORY have the most effect on his whether his role will be pivotal or not.

Andy 

At first glance it would appear that the character of Andy (Jackie's son) has received the Chuck from HAPPY DAYS or Judy from FAMILY MATTERS treatment. He was not mentioned or even casually referenced in episode one or two of season 10. It could be a case of feeling that his presence is unnecessary and simply acting as if he never existed.  Yet, I have a feeling that he'll make a return and I'll tell you why.

Roseanne as in the real life Roseanne Barr and as in the character Roseanne Conner, is a bullheaded, stubborn individual who likes to make herself heard. Opinionated, her points will be made. A believer that conservatives are hard working individuals in comparison to lazy liberals, I can see Roseanne using this opportunity to make a political statement. I can see it to where Jackie's choices in life lead her to being unable to support Andy on her own and thus Andy's father, Fred getting sole custody of him as a result.  Which leads me to our next character.

Fred
(Michael O'Keefe) 

I think the chances of actually seeing Michael O'Keefe as Fred on the new ROSEANNE are slim to none, although I do think the character will be mentioned.  Actually seeing him in the flesh is highly unlikely but Jackie mentioning that she dropped Andy off at Fred's or getting off the phone with Fred in the kitchen are both possibilities I see in the future.

Scott and Leon
(Fred Willard and Martin Mull) 

I really hope to see at least an appearance or two out of Scott and Leon on the new ROSEANNE. Martin Mull and Roseanne had such good chemistry. Their scenes were always entertaining and hilarious.  As Roseanne makes it a point to prove that she is a modern day conservative, one with an open mind, I feel very confident that both Leon and Scott will make their way onto the show. If for nothing more than to show the Trump supporting Roseanne Conner's acceptance, love and support of her homosexual friends.

Nancy
(Sandra Bernhard)

It's difficult to say whether Nancy will make an appearance on the new ROSEANNE or not.  There doesn't seem to be much of a demand for her from the fanbase and storyline wise she doesn't deem necessary. If anything she'd be exactly as she was 20 years ago, just sorta there. It also seems unlikely that Nancy would show up on the show, considering that Sandra made some unfavorable remarks about Roseanne's support for Trump.  Saying that any woman who would vote for Trump couldn't think for herself. She was also a Hillary Clinton supporter who Roseanne can't stand.

Ironically enough, this could as easily be the reason why Nancy does make a return to the show as much as it could be why we'll never see her again. It's as feasible that Nancy comes onto the show to be seen as an extremist on the left as it that she doesn't. 

It seems that one of the shows messages is the importance of communicating and co-existing with those whom you may disagree with politically.  I can think of little that would illustrate that point better than to have Nancy back on the show.

Crystal
(Natalie West) 

The character of Crystal was originally phased out of the series as writers and producers discovered that there really wasn't a need for Roseanne to have a best friend, considering that Jackie filled the role. There's little reason to think the Crystal would have a reoccurring role on the new ROSEANNE but it is fun to think that she and her two kids might stop by for a visit.

Grandma
(Estelle Parsons) 

It's already been confirmed that Estelle Parsons will be making a return to ROSEANNE. I personally find this a pleasant surprise. I thought that maybe she wouldn't considering that she is 90 years old. I'm very anxious to see what her role is like and how she plays it.  If Beatty White can do it, so can Estelle!

Arnie Thomas
(Tom Arnold) 

There are a million different reasons as to why we'll never see Tom Arnold on an episode of the new ROSEANNE, which is exactly why I think we will see him make at least one appearance before it is all said and done.  ROSEANNE is all about shock value, she always has been.  With her it is expect the unexpected and what would be more unexpected than to see Tom Arnold show up on an episode of ROSEANNE?  Remember that he was asked, upon Roseanne's request to show up at her roast and that could be a subtle hint of things to come. 

Molly
(Danielle Harris) 

On paper it would seem that there is little to no need for a return of the character Molly. She served her purpose on the original series and that's that. However, at one time Harris and Roseanne were very close and to this day Harris is extraordinarily complimentary and thankful to Roseanne for everything that she did for her career. While the character of Molly may be long forgotten, seeing Harris return to the show in a different role does seem very plausible.



How about other characters? There were an assortment of them.  George Clooney? Who knows?  Anxious to find out.

21st Century Out of Nowhere NCAA Division I Champions

We're now 18 years and about to be 18 NCAA Division I Championships into the 21st century. Over the past 17 tournaments, most of the NCAA champions crowned have been wrestlers that both fans and seeders/rankers alike, have foreseen as plausible titlists. They may not have been the most popular pick to win the NCAA championship, but their winning didn't exactly shock anyone either.  Matter of fact of the 170 NCAA Division I titles wrestled for, less than a dozen of those were won by wrestlers who truly came out of nowhere to stand atop the award stand.  Who were these wrestlers?

Carl Perry of Illinois
2000 141 lbs Champion

Perry didn't give anyone any reason to think he'd walk out the NCAA champion at 141 lbs, when he entered St. Louis, Missouri as the #8 seed in 2000.  After placing seventh as sophomore in 1998, he had failed to place as a junior in 1999. Two losses at the BIG 10's saw him finish in fourth place. If that weren't enough to see that no one would place there bet on Perry, the fact that he had to go through Iowa's Doug Schwab in the Quarter-finals was.  He had never defeated Schwab before, having lost to him by major decision and 7-5 earlier in the season. A master of the patented Great Bridge Virginia Granby roll, Perry shocked the Hawkeye with a 6-4 tiebreaker victory.  He then defeated Clarion's Mark Angle and Oklahoma's Michael Lightner to win the title.

Rob Rohn of Lehigh
2002 184 lbs Champion

Originally a two sport athlete, that began his career at Clarion also playing baseball, Rohn's NCAA finals match against Josh Lambrecht of Oklahoma is one of the most talked about and continuously reviewed matches in collegiate wrestling history. Yet when he entered Albany, New York as the #8 seed at 184 lbs, there wasn't a soul among those discussing plausible champions that even gave Rohn a thought.  Damion Hahn of Minnesota, Andy Hrovat of Michigan, Jessman Smith of Iowa, Viktor Sveda of Indiana, and Scott Justus of Virginia Tech were the names being thrown around. Rohn had five losses, including one in the EIWA championship finals to Cornell's Clint Wattenberg.  When he upset his way to the finals, many concluded that the senior ought to be happy with this second place finish before the match even started.  His opponent, Lambrecht was on a hot streak having had his way with everyone up to that point. It looked like an all but done deal as Lambrecht with a 14-2 lead went for a final tilt that would have secured a 17-2 technical fall.  Yet somehow Rohn managed to slip out, earn an escape and in one of the most dramatic finishes of all time, stick Lambrecht with only 13 seconds remaining on the clock.   For an interesting trivia question that most people do not know, it was not the only victory Rohn had over Lambrecht that season. He had defeated him earlier in the year 9-5.

*Some might also like to point at Aaron Holker of Iowa State in the 2002 tournament as well. The #5 seed transfer from Brigham Young who had two 7th place finishes, one in 1999 as a true freshman and again in 2003 as a senior.  Inconsistency which Holker seemed to master during his career, may for some put him on this list. However, he had two decisive victories over #2 Eric Larkin of Arizona State coming into the championships, which gave testimony to title run.*

Jake Rosholt of Oklahoma State
2003 Champion 184 lbs 

Arguably the most underrated three time NCAA Division I champion of all time. Perhaps the reason he never gets the credit or recognition he deserves is because fans still haven't forgiven him for winning the 2003 NCAA title, "When he wasn't supposed to."   He entered the NCAA tournament his freshman season with a 17-9 record.  Not exactly the type of record that sells that you are going to contend for the NCAA championship.  To add fuel for thought, his quarter finals opponent Greg Parker of Princeton had put in the legs and turned Rosholt multiple times in the Reno Tournament of Champions finals for a 10-2 major decision victory.  This time it'd be Rosholt who would have his way with Parker, completely dominating the match before pinning him in the first period.  Rosholt would again turn the tables on his finals opponent, Scott Barker of Missouri who had manhandled him 9-1 in the BIG 12 finals only two weeks earlier.  Rosholt would dominate to a 13-5 major decision of his own. 

Paul Donahoe of Nebraska
2007 Champion 125 lbs 

When beloved senior Sam Hazewinkle of Oklahoma entered his final NCAA tournament after three consecutive third place finishes, fans simply sat back and waited for the Sooner to take home the gold medal that had eluded him for so long.  Some toyed with the thought that maybe Minnesota's Jayson Ness or Cornell's Troy Nickerson might give him a scare. Hazewinkle quickly put those thoughts to rest as he had Ness spending the majority of a semi-finals match fighting off his back in 10-0 victory.  He was now in the finals and there was nothing to fear as his opponent was a familiar one, Paul Donahoe of Nebraska who Hazewinkle had humiliated in the BIG 12 finals with a 12-3 major decision.  Only this time the takedowns didn't come so easily. This time the turns on top didn't happen so effortlessly.  By the end of regulation the score was tied 1-1 and within mere moments Donahoe had robbed Hazewinkle of the title that so many thought he'd finally win.  A 2012 Olympian, Hazewinkle will forever remain in history one of the greatest to never win an NCAA title.  The ever controversial Donahoe would go on to capture two more All American finishes of third and second, as he ended his career at Edinboro.

Jarrod King of Edinboro
2009 Champion 165 lbs 

A career that started off plagued by various injuries, it seemed that Jarrod King was going to have to settle for a career that wasn't even a shadow of older brother Matt who had finished 4th and 3rd at the NCAA's during his. Yet after transferring to Edinboro from Oklahoma, King found himself not only matching his brother's credentials, but surpassing them.  Entering as the #12 seed at the 2009 championships, some toyed with the idea of King making the award stand but no one took the idea of him walking out as champion seriously.  He had kept it close with the likes of Colt Sponseller of Ohio State and Mack Lewnes of Cornell, but he had never managed to beat any of them.  A 5-3 loss in the final dual of the season to West Virginia's Donnie Jones, gave all the more reason to doubt him.  One by one he went through the #4, #8 and #2 seeds to be crowned champion in a miraculous run.  To prove that it was not a fluke, King showed up the next year, having a spectacular season which saw him finish third at the NCAA's.


*Some may wonder why I do not put Cody Brewer of Oklahoma on this list who won the NCAA title despite being the #13 seed in 2015.  The reason why is because on a personal note I feel that his #13 seeding was one of the most unfair in NCAA history.  He had but one loss that season, where he had gotten caught on his back and pinned by Iowa State's Earl Hall. He had avenged that loss in the BIG 12 finals, 10-5.  It was not a shock to me at all that Brewer won the NCAA title. I don't see how it would have shocked anyone that had watched him compete and knew what he was capable of.*

Myles Martin of Ohio State
2016 Champion 174 lbs 

It wouldn't surprise anyone to see Myles Martin atop the award stand at this year's NCAA championships or at next year's in 2019.  Yet when he won the 174 lbs as a true freshman in 2016, there be not a fan in the arena who can honestly say they saw it coming.  His finals opponent was Penn State's Bo Nickal who had pinned him in the first period at the BIG 10 championships. Only this time, Nickal didn't put Martin on his back.  Martin put him on his back, winning the match 11-9.  Some think having seen Nickal handle Martin 10-2 earlier this season that it might mean that Nickal now has Martin's number. Check out the elaborate history between these two and I guarantee you that a Martin victory at either or both the BIG 10's and the NCAA's would not at all surprise you.


And now it begs the question doesn't it!?!?  Are we going to have any "out of nowhere" NCAA champions this season?

Darian Cruz of Lehigh 

It almost seems more fitting to put him on this list for his accomplishments last year, but ironically enough even though he's the returning champion defending his title, he seems more of an underdog this year than he did last. Listening to fans debate who will be the NCAA champion Saturday, March the 17th, the names Nathan Tomasello of Ohio State, Nick Suriano of Rutgers and Spencer Lee of Iowa be the three most spouted. Even Northwestern's Sebastian Rivera gets more mentions than Cruz does. Would it really be an "out of nowhere" title?  Of course it wouldn't, but as Hell bent sold as some seem to be on a Suriano Vs Lee final, Cruz denying both would open up some eyes.

Anyone other than Zain Retherford of Penn State @ 149 lbs 

See the image above? It's of Zain Retherford getting his hand raised. It's as familiar of a sight and as sure of thing as the sun coming up each day.  The idea of us not seeing this five times in a row in Cleveland, Ohio March the 15th through the 17th is preposterous. Yet, I have to mention this astronomical idea because for anyone other than Retherford to win the title at 149 lbs would without a doubt by the most shocking upset of the NCAA tournament.   Minus injury or illness, I cannot see anyone even coming close to Retherford.  Iowa's Brandon Sorensen seems the most likely, but even that's a stretch. It'd be nice to know that Arizona State's Jason Tsirtsis could go in and give Retherford a worthy challenge, but at this point it seems wishful thinking.



I'm not sold on anything at 197 lbs quite yet.  I want to get through the rest of the conference qualification tournaments, and see the final NCAA brackets before I set my heart on who I think will walk out champion.  As for now, based on the rankings I can see an assortment of guys winning the title, but none that I feel would come as a shock to anyone.

Lastly I'll say that if anyone other than Ohio State's Kyle Snyder or Michigan's Adam Coon wins the title at HWT, that will come as a major shock to me as well.  I can see Oregon State's Amar Dhesi or Duke's Jake Kasper getting past one or the other, but not both.

My thoughts, what are your's?

My Unfortunate Experience with Spee-Dee Delivery, Ankeny Location.

Looking for work, I applied for an assortment of jobs when I finally got a call back from Spee-Dee Delivery.  I went in for an interview and was offered a job as a night driver.  I took it thinking it'd be a perfect job for me.  Working at night, driving on the open road, and having to deal with a minimum of people. I thought right and I should have trusted my intuition. Yet it's hard to trust your gut, especially when people look you right in the face and lie to you, the way Spee-Dee Delivery representative Aaron did.

He called me in the Thursday before the Monday I was supposed to start.  He looked me right in the eye and said to me, "You really enjoy driving positions right?"

I told him that I did.

He proceeded to inform me that the night driver position that I had taken, involved very little driving.  That I would spend most of my time in the warehouse, doing hard physical work.  If I was lucky, I might take a load out on the road once or twice a week. Other than that, my shifts would be spent in the warehouse emptying/loading trucks and sorting packages.

"But I do have an open route in the Carroll area." He said to me. "You'll do a lot of driving there."

I agreed to do the Carroll route, trusting that Aaron was telling me the truth.  A trust that I never should have put in him.

After three months of rough, 11-12 hour days in a vehicle with no air conditioning that often had an assortment of problems, I ran into the guy that they eventually hired to do the night route that I had originally been hired for.

"So you spend most of your time in the warehouse then huh?" I asked him.

"Oh Heavens no." He said to me. "Maybe an hour at the beginning of my shift, if that.  I load my truck, and then drive to Omaha and drop off half my load.  I then take the other half up to Sioux City and then I drive back to the terminal."

That's two hours to Omaha, an hour and a half to Sioux City, three hours back to Ankeny.   6 1/2 hours of driving.  I would like to know how Aaron could justify 6 1/2 hours is "very little driving."

On top of that he was paid $0.25 more an hour than I was.

Nevertheless, even though Aaron had deliberately lied to me, I stuck with the Carroll route.

Hating the route for various reasons, I began looking into other opportunities including possibly going to trucking school to learn to drive semis.  I had submitted an application to a trucking school in Des Moines, that trained in exchange for driving for them for one year.

When I told a fellow coworker of mine, Phil, the semi-truck driver who had the St. Cloud route, he informed me that he was transferring up to St. Cloud and that his route was opening up.  He suggested that I try and get his job. His job paid $150 more per week ($600 a month more) than what I was making.  It involved taking a trailer up to St. Cloud, dropping it off and then taking another trailer back to Des Moines.  I put in an application for it immediately.

Aaron came up to me one morning and informed me that he saw that I had applied for the St. Cloud route. I told him that I had.  He said to me that they were excited to see me show interest in the position and that as long as I was able to obtain a class A CDL that the position would be mine.

If I'm ever made an offer like that again, I vow that I will get it in writing.

I told Aaron that I'd help him to find a replacement for me on the Carroll if he would like.

Aaron informed me that I needed to study for, take and  pass three written examinations, and then my training to drive the semi would begin on Monday July 17th.

I took the time (as well as money) to study for and pass the written examinations of Air Breaks, General Knowledge and Combination Vehicles.

Aaron informed me once again that training would begin on July 17th.  He said most take between 3 to 5 weeks to learn how to drive the truck.

Monday July 17th came, and Aaron informed me that my training had been moved back to July 24th.

July 24th became July 31st.  July 31st became August 7th.

Considering that Phil's last day was August 25th, I saw the writing on the wall.

I told Aaron one morning that I wanted to speak with him in private.  I went into his office and questioned him about what was going on.

He informed that that they were having a difficult time finding someone to fill my position and after some thought they found it more beneficial to the company to hire someone who already had a class A CDL for the St. Cloud position, than to train me.

I asked him why I wasn't informed about their decision earlier. He answered that they had other issues far more important and didn't feel a need to prioritize it.  I told him that I felt I had been treated unfairly and that I felt I was owed an apology.

I didn't receive one, although he did use the word sorry.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but we are not Stephen Stonebraker company." He said to me. "We're Spee-Dee Delivery and we have done and will continue to do what we feel is best for Spee-Dee Delivery."

I said to him, "Ok. Well thank you for the opportunity to work here but I want to say that I will be leaving as soon as I find something better or by the 18th of August.

He then said, "We may have other CDL positions that eventually open up. Keep that in mind."

Considering that Aaron had already lied to me various times, I decided not to believe it.

I came in the next day and the truck that I normally drove was not in my parking space.  Instead, an older truck. One that was obviously in horrible shape sat in its spot.

I could go into explicit detail on all of the problems the truck had, but I think the fact that it broke down on my four times, will suffice.

The last time it broke down on me,  I was driving in downtown Carroll when suddenly the Truck died.  Luckily I had enough momentum to coast into the Walgreen's parking lot. There I sat for an hour until Spee-Dee finally had a local mechanic in Carroll come to help me. After examining the truck, he said that he couldn't figure out in the Walgreen's parking lot and would have to tow me back to his shop.

Upon examining the truck, he found and assortment of things wrong with the truck.  He had me call Spee-Dee to talk to the mechanic department. He told the mechanic that the truck was in no shape to have been put on the road and that by all means, he should notify the Department of Motor Vehicles of the trucks condition.

The truck didn't have a starter.  It must have fallen off somewhere between Des Moines and Carroll, and that was the main reason I had so much trouble with it.

After fighting with the Spee-Dee Mechanics, he ended up hanging up on them half way in between the conversation and told me that they were some of the dumbest individuals he had ever spoken to.

He informed me that he was going to tow me back to Des Moines because....and I quote...."I've been a mechanic for close to thirty years and that is the most dangerous, unsafe commercial vehicle I have ever laid my hands on." 

He said as bad of shape as the truck was in, I was lucky that I hadn't been seriously injured or worse driving it.

I tried to notify Aaron three times on my way back to the shop, as well as Spee-Dee representatives Nate and Delmer.  None were available to take my call.

The only person I got a hold of, after multiple attempts was Jeremy my route supervisor.  He told me that he'd have Randy and Jeff (fellow co-workers) take care of my pickups, but as for the over 40 deliveries I had left, I was going to have to add them to Wednesday's route.  My route on Wednesday was going to be around 85 stops.  On a good day, with no lunch breaks, not even giving myself time to stop and take a leak, I was lucky if I could get 60 stops done in my 12 hour shift.  There was no way I was going to get 85 done the next day with no help.

I guess feelings without proof are nothing more than accusations. Yet to think that Aaron deliberately put me in that unsafe and dangerous vehicle a day after I told him that I didn't appreciate his dishonesty and unprofessionalism, in the least gives him motive. 

I figured that Aaron had lied to me on three occasions, he had put me into a dangerous and unsafe vehicle. I had put up with enough. 

I went home, threw my work uniforms into the wash, waited for them to dry and then took them all back to the office.  I informed Betty another worker of what had happened to me and that I was leaving.  She shook my hand and said it was about time someone stood up for themselves against this crooked and rotten company.

Aaron has since said, and still says to this day that he never lied to me about the night position.  We simply have a different definition of what "a lot of driving" is and isn't.  I consider 6 1/2 hours of driving in a 9-10 hour shift to be a substantial amount of driving.  He doesn't.   He also says that I was never promised the St. Cloud CDL position. He says that he knew of my interest in the position, and did inform me that there was a possibility that they might select me for the job.  I questioned that if that were the case, why make a priority of me studying for, taking and passing the examinations.  Why give me a training start date of 7-17-2017?   His answer is because CDL positions open up from time to time, and he would like me prepared for when they do.  Funny, as those test scores are only good up to 90 days after you take them. 

Lastly Aaron said that in regards to the vehicle being "the most unsafe and dangerous commercial vehicle" that the mechanic in Carroll had ever seen, that opinions vary, and that was not the opinion of the mechanics at Spee-Dee Delivery in Des Moines.

In the end Spee-Dee Delivery came out on top. They win and I lose.  I don't think that's right.  Regardless of how you feel about my quitting the job or about the way in which I quit, I believe I have a right to have my employer be honest with me and tell the truth.  I know, as it is not a matter of subjective opinion, that I have a right, a legal right to be in a safe environment while working. It was wrong of them to put me in a vehicle that a mechanic of over thirty years experience deemed, "The most dangerous, unsafe commercial vehicle" that he had ever seen.

People like Aaron get away with lying to their employees and intentionally putting them into dangerous situations.  They shouldn't and I feel it my duty as an American citizen, a member of the American labor force, to expose him for his crooked, and unprofessional behavior.

Could I Have Ever Been Practical?

I look back on my life a lot and wonder where I went wrong. It's hard not to. I graduated high school when I was 18 years old. Thirteenth out of fifty-two kids, 3.3 GPA.  High enough to mention I suppose but not high enough to matter.  For shits and giggles or more so to prove my father's point correct, I remember searching for jobs that summer. 

I had my choice between shitty jobs with shitty pay or "Come sell insurance for us!"

At the time it sure seemed like Dad knew what he was talking about.  The years of preaching.  The shoving it down my throat on a daily basis. The yelling and the three hour long lectures that went with it whenever a grade was below a C. It all made sense. A college degree was necessary.  It was essential.

I had a lot of confidence at the time. A lot of belief in myself and what I was capable of. Perhaps that was my downfall. My whole life and I do mean my whole life. I mean then, I mean now, I mean 25 years from now-All I've ever wanted to do with my life was somehow in someway be part of the entertainment business.  If you ever wonder why I seem like a depressed and bitter miser, its because that's what I want to do with my life and I'm not doing it.

I don't know if you could have talked me out of going down that road. I know I chose the wrong college to go to. I do know that. And maybe that in itself is the answer. Maybe it's not what I studied, but where I studied it.

My Dad doesn't seem to think so.

I had it all planned out.  I was going to get my undergrad in theatre and then get a graduate degree in screenplay writing.  That was the plan from seventh grade and I never even thought of or considered anything else.

Things didn't work out.

And now the year is 2017.  I have nearly 10 years of working experience.  A degree in History Education at a 3.5 GPA, Dean's list honors all of my junior and senior years. 

I'm 32 years old and I have my choice between shitty jobs with shitty pay or "Come sell insurance for us!"

Oh, and before you tell me, I already know. I can also go into the military.   I actually did look into that about a year ago. I'm getting too old to begin with and secondly I have no interests. I don't think I'd fit in at all and I think I'd be seen as a burden/exile by my fellow comrades. If that's not enough. I spoke to an Air Force recruiter. Per her testimony going into the military wouldn't be much a help to me at all. Already existing loans aren't their area. Loans for future college plans are. Her words.)

But I digress, I'm going off on a tangent.

Back to the point.

I think I'd have been better off to not have gone to college at all.  Or to have gone to a community college and called it good. 

My Dad thinks I should have gone to college for something more, "practical"

Well would that have worked?  Could I have done that?

Maybe.

Film production?  It still sorta/kinda puts me in the realm of the entertainment world and while careers aren't flourishing they aren't exactly scarce either. 

Maybe instead of screenplay writing I should have thought more along the lines of creative writing?  Yeah, I'd still be in the same boat I'm in now huh?

Truth is nearly anything and everything I could have done, been good at, been happy doing doesn't fall under the "practical" umbrella.

And if it's my job to be practical then it ought to be everyone else's job to be practical too. My brain doesn't work in certain ways. I'm not a math and science guy.  I realize those jobs are lucrative and pay a lot of money. Get you a lot of respect and admiration from the community, but they're not for me.  An engineer who designs and builds bridges and interstates and skyscrapers I'm sure has an awesome job, as does the architect who helps him.  They're not jobs I could do.  So take it for what it is or be a pretentious pompous about it and say, "that's just cause he wouldn't try."  Either way, moving on.

Law? Could I have done law? I don't know.  Criminal justice has always fascinated me. I love watching television shows and movies about law enforcement.  My cousin Patrick is an officer and I have friends who are lawyers.  I don't know how it would have turned out, but that is a path I could have seen myself taking. I read a book while in school called, I CHOSE PRISON by James V Bennett. He said that if you went into law, regardless of the specifics you would always have a job.  He said that in 1970, but I imagine it still true today.

My mom thinks I should have gone to school for social work. She thinks I would have made a great counselor or social worker. After things fell apart at Northwestern College, she wanted me to go to William Penn and get my degree in Social work.  Maybe I should have. 

Journalism is another degree that always excited me. However as much as I've been used, abused, underappreciated and exploited in the world of amateur wrestling media, I'm not so sure that would have been a great idea either.  The pay always seems mediocre at best and you're often charging people, "too much" for your work, even if you do it for free.

Public Relations and Communications?  I worked in that field for three years and having a degree in it would have helped. Seems like an interesting enough field.  Maybe this would have been the answer?

Psychology would have been a lot of fun. It's neat to imagine myself like Dr. Fraser Crane from CHEERS.  I imagine though that while the four years would have been a treat to study that I'd most likely be in the same predicament I am in now.  Only I'd be able to come up with better comebacks and insults. Take deep, layered shots at those who tried to demean me.  I'm already pretty good at it. I suppose with a psychology degree, I'd be downright deadly. 

Computer science is the degree that lies right on the edge for me. There's math involved and science but, not hard math. Not the type of math that says, "Stephen I hate you and you forever shall known it!"  But good math.  Math that is my friend.  And the type of science that I think I could understand.  Science is always something I've appreciated, admired and loved in many ways.  Let like a Lisa Turtle to a Screech Powers or a Laura Winslow to a Steve Urkle, something that has always been repulsed by me and treated me with the fiercest rejection.


Could I have been practical?  Studied a practical major? Gotten a practical degree?  Gotten a practical job? Became a practical person?

No.

Hell right now as I sit here looking over all of the many majors offered at colleges and universities around the world, I find yet another one that fascinates me a great deal.

Zoology.  Now there's a major I think would have been a lot of fun.  Yet what the Hell does one do with a zoology degree?  Work as an intern at the Des Moines Zoo for nothing dollars and nothing cents an hour?

Ooh, how about Oceanography?  Sure as Hell would need to get out of Iowa to make use of that one, huh?  And maybe that's the issue.  Maybe staying in Iowa has been my downfall.  I don't know.

What I do know is that it is my turn on bottom....STILL.  And I do believe strongly that I'll have my day on top.  I still haven't given up on my dreams.  I'm still a writer.  I'm not a successful one yet, but I'm still a writer.  I still have hope. I still have faith. 

I'm only 32 after all as they say.  Whoever they is.

It Never Came To Fruition: 6 Feuds in WWE That Started But Never Finished

Bret Hart Vs Bad News Brown 

From his arrival in 1985 up until Wrestlemania IV in 1988, Bret "The Hitman" Hart was a heel in the World Wrestling Entertainment. That all changed during the opening Battle Royal when after seemingly wanting to share the prize money as co-winners, Bad News double crossed "The Hitman" hitting him with his signature Ghetto Blaster and then throwing him out of the ring. Hart came back with a vengeance hitting Bad News with a dropkick and destroying the trophy that had been awarded to him.

Seeing that this was step one of Hart's face turn, a prolific match between the two was in order. It wasn't that we didn't see matches between Hart and Brown, because we did. It's simply that they were forgettable, non hyped matches that never amounted to much.  Perhaps not big enough for a PPV, we deserved a promoted, hyped up, SATURDAY NIGHT'S MAIN EVENT semi-main event out of this match.

Why didn't we get one?

Two reasons.  Even though WWE was testing "The Hitman" out in singles competition, he was still in a tag team with Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart and the main focus was the tag team and their feuds and matches. Rather than use their main television shows and Pay-Per-Views for a singles match with Hart, they would rather use that exposure to get the team over.

The other major problem was with Brown.  Brown, who was at best as high end mid-carder during his time in WWE, always saw himself as the top heel in the company. While a good, solid worker, Brown thought of himself as the heel version of Hulk Hogan in popularity, drawing power and overall importance to the company. Thinking as highly of himself as he did, it was like pulling teeth getting Brown to do a clean job for Hogan.  If he wasn't winning the match, it was nine times out of ten going to end in a disqualification or a countout. Brown didn't do jobs and he certainly wasn't going to be Hart's first prolific win as a singles competitor. 

It's really a shame too, because the two could have had a great match. A match that signified itself as the start of Hart's initial rise to becoming one of the greatest WWE superstars of all time.  It probably would have helped Brown's career too.  Had Brown not been so stubborn, and more willing to help other guys get over, rather than always worrying about himself and the God like image he gave himself, WWE probably would have done more with him. Not sure if it would have led to any title reigns, world or intercontinental but it would have led to better PPV matches.

Billy Gunn Vs Bart Gunn 

The classic formula of former partners, be it best friends or brothers having their differences, where one betrays the other to lead to a feud has been done many times throughout the history of professional wrestling. The reason being, because the formula works.  Fans emotionally invest in the tag team, thus take the betrayal personally when it happens.

The Smoking Gunns were indisputably the most popular WWE Tag Team of the New Generation era. Perhaps Billy's heel turn would have been better suited if the team were faces during the time rather than heels, but their feud deserved a longer go and a better ending than what it received.

The teasers and previews up until their Saturday Morning Superstars bout were promising, but the match itself was lackluster. While it started out good, Bart dropped Billy across the top rope injuring him (Kayfabe). The referee stopped the match as Billy's wife, who was apparently going for a Golden Raspberry award ran into the ring and began screaming, "How could you do this? He's Your Brother!!"  Bart was left with an obvious concern on his face that he might have seriously injured Billy and we were thrown into a commercial break as medical help began to work on him.

What was going to happen? Was this going to lead to a scene where we saw Bart visit Billy in the hospital and the two would bury the hatchet and become a team again?  Was this going to lead to Billy vowing vengeance against Bart,  and a huge final confrontation at a PPV down the road?   What was going to happen?

Nothing.  That's what happened. Not a damn thing.  Billy came back to float around WWE wrestling as himself and Rockabilly before finding Road Dogg and forming what would be the Attitude Era's hottest tag team.  Bart who was a great talent, was misused and mistreated in a variety of different ways before finally being released and going to Japan where they appreciated the talent that he was.

WWE really dropped the ball on this one. I always thought and still think that somewhere along the line, Bart Gunn should have been a member of Degeneration X.  If they weren't going to go anywhere with the Gunn Vs Gunn feud, then turn the feud on its head and have a moment of redemption. At some point have Bart save Billy or Billy save Bart.  Have a significant moment where the two come together with the rest of DX, have Bart give the suck it sign and be a member. I think he would have been a nice addition to the group.

Tito Santana Vs Rick Martel 

Tito Santana accidentally hits Rick Martel with the Flying Forearm (or as Bobby Heenan would tell you, the Flying Jalapeno) during their Wrestlemania V match with The Brainbusters and Martel walks out on Santana. Post match interview, Martel calls Santana a loser, says he's sorry he ever associated with him and that he's lucky that all he did was walk away.  This is the beginning of a great feud.

We got matches between the two, but nothing prolific. Matter of fact, when the two did wrestle one another, it was treated as just another match on the card. It made little to no sense why they didn't get a SUMMERSLAM pay off or why they didn't feud throughout the year to have a huge pay off at Wrestlemania VI.

They proved that they could have a great match and tear the house down.  Fans were into their matches and years later, even during Tito's final year in the WWE with the "El Matador" gimmick they often threw him into the ring with Martel because the two worked so well together.

Why not give them a memorable, monumental match that they deserved?  I don't get that.  It would have made a lot more sense to have had Martel vs Santana at Wrestlemania VI than to have had Martel Vs Ko Ko B Ware and Santana vs The Barbarian.

Crush Vs Doink 

24 years later and I'm still pissed at WWE for dropping the ball on this one.  The feud started off great, with Doink giving Crush a concussion. Their Wrestlemania IX match was much like that of The Undertaker Vs The Giant Gonzalez, only Taker and Gonzalez got a SUMMERSLAM payoff and Crush and Doink didn't.

It would have been fine if Doink's victory over Crush was the end of it, and both went their separate ways right then and right there. Yet the feud continued to escalate, only to go no where.

The two met in a return match shortly after Wrestlemania with Crush winning via disqualification with Doink having another Doink show up so the two could beat the crap out of him.  This only led to fans wanting to see Crush get his revenge even more.

Then at King of The Ring, Crush had the intercontinental championship won against Shawn Michaels, only to have Doink come down to the ring and cost him the match.

We were lead to believe that there was going to be a huge match between these two.  A no disqualification, a steel cage match, something big and important to end the feud between the circus freak and the giant can of orange soda.

And what did we get? Another lackluster match that wasn't even televised everywhere, where Crush won via count out.

I don't know if their feud could have ended with a more anticlimactic finish than what it did.   We as fans deserved a lot more out of this one than what we received.

Ultimate Warrior Vs Jake Roberts 

This one actually wasn't the fault of WWE and poor booking decisions as were the previous four entries. This one was the sole fault of The Ultimate Warrior and his choice to leave the WWE before this feud came to fruition.

Jake Roberts who could easily draw money as a face on Monday, a heel on Tuesday, and then again as a face on Wednesday, had recently turned heel by betraying the Ultimate Warrior and leading him into a trap where he was bitten on the face by a venomous Cobra. The feud was set in place, for Warrior to find his Gods, search deep within himself and find the power to overcome the evils of Jake the Snake.

Instead, Warrior found himself in financial disputes with the WWE and left Roberts hanging.  Perhaps for the best because this lead to the WWE having to come up with new ideas, and two of the best ideas WWE had during that time were then put into place.

First and foremost we ended up getting an Undertaker face turn, which wasn't only red hot in 1992, it was one of the best creative decisions WWE ever made.  Secondly, it got Randy Savage out of retirement and back into the ring, which lead to three outstanding matches between Savage and Roberts.

Nevertheless though, it would have been fun to have seen the match that never was between Roberts and Warrior. It's fairly predictable that Roberts would have nailed the DDT, only to have Warrior popped right back up, clothesline him 15 times, hit a flying tackle, gorilla press him over his head and then big splash him for the 1-2-3. It's not like we would have seen anything new, but some songs no matter how many times we hear them, we still like to listen to them again.

Shawn Michaels Vs Marty Jannetty 

Everyone and their dog, whether they were their to witness it when it happened, or they know because everyone else talks about it, knows about the Barber Shop incident where Shawn Michaels threw his former partner and ex-best friend Marty Jannetty through the glass window.  This began a feud that could have drawn money and been the main event at every PPV throughout the year.

And its not that it didn't happen, because it did.  It's simply that it wasn't done right and it wasn't done at the right places.  Marty and Shawn put on the most entertaining matches. Even the experts who vote, awarded their Monday Night Raw match where Jannetty defeated Michaels for the intercontinental championship as the 1993 match of the year.

Every match they had during that time was a 6 out of 5 star match, and yes that was written on purpose. Their matches were that good.  Their matches on Monday Night Raw, their Royal Rumble match, and their cage match.  All of them were marquee, could have easily been the main event matches.

To know that we never ended up getting an ultimate payoff between the two for inexcusable reasons is something that bugs me 25 years later and it'll bug me 25 years after this.

A part of the problem was Jannetty himself and the demons he faced with drugs, alcohol and women.  If only he could have controlled these demons, and been more focused he could have taken the WWE by storm and proved he was every bit as good as Michaels if not better.

Another huge wrench in the operation was the Charles Austin incident where Jannetty accidentally broke Austin's neck during a match that ended up seeing Austin awarded $27 million in a lawsuit against the WWE.

Lastly, this feud never came to fruition because of the shady, snide and selfish decisions of an egotistical and narcissistic Shawn Michaels. Shawn sabotaged and ruined a lot of would be great opportunities and moments for many wrestlers throughout his days in WWE, and he did so here in what could have been the hottest thing of the early-mid 90's.

If only Shawn Michaels gave a damn about something other than himself during this time, both he and Jannetty would have torn the house down in the months and even years to come.

It's hard to look back on the career of Marty Jannetty and to know where it ended up. Some of it his fault, some of it not.

Wrestlemania VIII, Summerslam 93, something somewhere.

Instead both moved on to do their own thing.  Michaels was given an awesome match with Mr. Perfect that ended in a countout and Jannetty did a squash match job for Ludvig Borga.

And I don't know if anything in professional wrestling, storyline wise with exception to maybe what Shawn did the the British Bulldog at One Night Only, has bothered me more.

Top 10 Tag Team Specialists of all time.

There are an ample amount of greatest professional wrestlers of all time lists. Whether it be by generation, federation, or an overall evaluation of professional wrestling as a whole, the lists of greatest singles competitors is plentiful. Nearly every professional wrestling website has made one, if not more, and nearly every fan has at least one of their own.


The same is true for the greatest tag teams in professional wrestling. Teams like The Road Warriors/Legion of Doom, Demolition, The Hart Foundation and Harlem Heat often make the list.

Yet what about the professional wrestlers who as individuals were phenomenal tag team specialist? Workers who could be pared with about anybody and make the team work. Make the team get over? Who are these wrestlers?

This list isn't a compilation of the greatest tag teams of all time, but rather a list of the greatest tag team individuals of all time. Individuals who specialized in tag team wrestling and here they are.

10. Mr. Fuji 

The devious one may be remembered most for his time as one of the greatest heel managers of all time, but his in ring work, especially as a tag team specialist should be noted as well. While he was never much of a singles wrestler, he shined in the tag team ranks. Throughout various independents in the 60's and 70's Fuji held a numerous amount of tag team championships with many wrestlers. His most accomplished credentials in the WWE were during the times he teamed with Professor Tanaka and with Mr. Saito, where between the two Fuji held the WWE tag team titles on five occasions.

9. Kane 

You may not think of Kane as a tag team specialist when you first give his illustrious and storied career thought. You should. While Kane accomplished many things as a singles wrestler, his best moments were when he was in a team. Even before he became the big red machine, the talents and skills that eventually led him to a WWE contract were most prevalent during his tag team days with Al Snow in Smokey Mountain. While in WWE they put Kane in every makeshift tag team combination possible and there was only one that didn't work.  The New Razor and New Diesel tag didn't get over, but every other one did.  Kane was teamed with Mankind, X-Pac, The Undertaker, The Hurricane, RVD and Daniel Bryan. Each team was so popular that they all held the tag titles at least once for Kane to end his professional wrestling career as an 11 time co-holder of the WWE tag team championship.

8. Ron Simmons 

Ron Simmons will forever be cemented in history as the first black champion of a major American promotion. While his WCW world's title is epic and should be remembered for the historical monument that it is, it should also be noted in how good of a tag team wrestler Ron Simmons was. Butch Reed in many ways is one of the best wrestlers to never hold a WWE belt, and if it weren't for Simmons he never would have held a WCW title either.  While in WWE he helped to propel JBL from a mid-carder into one of their top talents.  While JBL was always a good solid worker, it wasn't until he teamed with Ron Simmons winning three tag team championships, that he really began to shine.

7. Earthquake 

One of the most underrated superstars of all time, Earthquake is also severely underrated as a tag team specialist. His chemistry and timing in the ring with Dino Bravo worked well enough to where the two could have been one of the hottest heel teams in the WWE. Yet the late 80's, with every team looking the same in look and stature, the makeshift team didn't fit in.  Years later, it seemed the WWE came to the realization of how good of a tag team wrestler Earthquake was as they teamed him with Typhoon to form the Natural Disasters. While the team was over as both faces and heels, a short run with the tag team titles is all they would get. After returning to the WWE after a long absence, Quake continued to show his expertise in tag team wrestling when as one fourth of the Oddities he was easily the most popular and beloved one.

6. Mike Rotunda 

Rotunda is remembered in the professional wrestling world for two reasons. The first is having the most ridiculous gimmicks. The second is for being one of the greatest tag team wrestlers of all time.  While Rotunda never did much as a singles competitor, he flourished in the teams. During his time in the NWA, he shined brightest with Steve Williams as a member of The Varsity Club. In the WWE he held the tag team championships on five occasions, twice with Barry Windham as one half of the U.S. Express and three times with Ted Dibiase as Money Inc.

5. The Barbarian 

It's not often that you can look back on the glory years of both WWE and WCW and find where both companies dropped the ball on an idea, but in the case of the Barbarian, they both did it twice. As to his runs with the Warlord as the Powers of Pain in WWE and as the Super Assassins in WCW, the explanation as to why they weren't pushed harder is quite weak. They were seen as Road Warrior rip offs and with Demolition already in the WWE with a similar gimmick, they were quickly disbanded and sent their separate ways as singles competitors.  Neither the Warlord or the Barbarian ever did as well separately as they did when teaming.

The same can be said for the Barbarian's team with Haku. Why it wasn't better utilized in WWE, is once again explained in the fact that with few exceptions McMahon didn't want makeshift tag teams. Why they weren't better used in WCW, is a real mystery.  Labeled The Faces of Fear, they could have easily boosted WCW's tag team scene to new heights if they had been used properly as the great heel team they were.

4. Billy Gunn 

Billy Gunn spent eight years swimming around the independents as a singles wrestler that nobody knew or cared about. Trying his luck as a tag team wrestler, it didn't take long before Billy Gunn was a household name. While Gunn has had some respectable success in singles competition, it pales in comparison to what he did as a tag team wrestler.  While with Bart Gunn as the Smoking Gunns, he held the WWE tag team championship on two occasions as one of the New Generation Era's most popular teams. After splitting up with Bart, WWE tried Billy Gunn as a singles competitor in a series of gimmicks that were not getting over with the fans. It seemed that Gunn's career was on a fast track to nowhere.

Then out of no where Gunn was teamed with The Road Dogg Jesse James and if Brian James is an honest person, then he knows he owes every ounce of gratitude for why he's the most well known and famous of his family to Billy Gunn. Not only were the two the hottest tag team in the WWE during the Attitude Era, they helped to define it.

Why WWE decided to once again split them up and try Gunn out as a singles competitor is beyond comprehension.  Again, this time as Mr. Ass and then as The One, Billy Gunn as a singles wrestler was nothing compared to him as a tag.

WWE then teamed Gunn with Chuck Palumbo in a controversial homosexual gimmick that despite not being anywhere near as popular as The New Age Outlaw, the team still got over.  Trying a few other times to get over on their own, both Gunn and Road Dogg realized that they're best when together and the two reunited. To this day, they'll still a draw wherever they go.

3. Paul Roma 

Much like Earthquake, Paul Roma is an underrated and underappreciated talent in the world of professional wrestling. While a strong and solid singles competitor, it was in the tag team division that Roma showed off how good of a worker he really was. Even when his partner didn't want the team to work, which was the case with both Jim Powers in the WWE as The Young Stallions and with Arn Anderson in WCW, Roma was still able to put aside personal differences and make the team get over.

When you put him with someone who wanted to make the team work, few teams were any better.  With Hercules in the WWE, known as Power and Glory, the two are easily one of the top three teams ever in the history of the company to not hold the tag team championship. They were red hot as heels and could have easily feuded with any team drawing all sorts of money all over the country.  Yet, they weren't used to their full potential and it was most likely due to the fact that McMahon had recently obtained the Road Warriors (Legion of Doom) and he didn't want any of their competition to look as big and bad as they were. According to Roma in a shoot interview, their squash match at Wrestlemania VII had more to do with both he and Hercules being injured, but one still can't help but think it was McMahon's way of showing just how superior LOD was to other teams.

In WCW, Ric Flair likes to claim that Roma was the worst thing to happen to the Four Horsemen.  Maybe so, but without any dispute whatsoever, Paul Roma was the best thing to ever happen to Paul Orndorff. After a career that was cut short in WWE, it seemed that Orndorff was near the end of his run on top as his WCW television title reign came to an end.  He was 44 years old, and some would say too old to accomplish much more as a professional wrestler. If it hadn't been for teaming with Paul Roma, that may have been true.

Known as Pretty Wonderful, Roma and Orndorff were one of the best WCW tag teams of all time, perhaps only second or third to Harlem Heat and The Outsiders. The two would hold the tag team titles on two occasions.

2. Owen Hart 

There's nothing Owen Hart couldn't do. No matter what situation you put him in, he could do it and make it work. Tag Team wrestling was no exception.  While some of the tag teams he was in, worked better than others, all of them illustrated the tag team specialist that Hart was.  While with Neidhart, Hart showed his brilliance for tag team maneuvers, that would have also been shown with Koko B Ware if it weren't for McMahon insisting that they job to every tag team on the planet.  His team with brother Bret would have worked if it hadn't been for the fact that Bret was already established as WWE's top singles wrestlers.

When he was teamed with Yokozuna, it at first appeared like an odd combination, but the two not only worked, they won the tag team championship on their first night together!  Owen's most successful run in the tag team division though was with brother-in-law The British Bulldog, where the two won the tag team titles from The Smoking Gunns.  While not as strong of a tag team as he was with the Bulldog, Hart would also win the tag team titles with Jeff Jarrett before a tragic accident ended his life in May of 1999.  Some wonder if Hart had lived if he would have eventually held the WWE world's title. He was certainly good enough to have. No doubt though, that as good as he was as a a tag team wrestler, that at least a couple more reigns as champion would have been added to his list of impressive credentials.

1. Marcus Bagwell 

When it comes to tag team wrestling, there is no name in professional wrestling that says, "tag team" better than Marcus Bagwell.  Regardless of how 2 Cold Scorpio may feel about Bagwell in real life, he should take a step back and realize that the world may not even know or care who he is if it wasn't for Bagwell.  The same can be said about Scotty Riggs.  Marcus Bagwell is who got both of them over.

Hell the same can even be said about Scott Norton, at least for his run in the United States. As a singles competitor he was nothing special and most don't even recall his team with Ice Train.  Yet many do remember his NWO run, in particularly as a member of Vicious and Delicious with Bagwell.

The Patriot was a strong singles wrestler, one who helped the GWF during their glory years, and one who if it weren't for injuries, personal problems and a difference of opinion would have been a top draw in the WWE.  Even so, his best days in the business were with Bagwell as one half of Stars and Stripes, who held the WCW tag team titles on two occasions.

His teams with Shane Douglas and Lex Luger weren't quite as good as ones prior, but even they showcased why Marcus Bagwell is the greatest tag team wrestler of all time.  While he struggled when he was on his own, once in a tag team he excelled to every level.  He got himself over, the team over and his partner over and that's why nearly ever tag team he was ever in worked as well as it did.
There were certainly better tag teams. You can put every team that Bagwell was ever in together, and even combined, they couldn't match the Road Warriors or Demolition or the Rockers.  Yet, looking at it strictly from an individual as a tag team specialist, no one can touch Bagwell. He was the greatest.

Is Hollywood About to Ruled by a King? In particularly A Stephen King?

It's been a mere matter of days and already Andy Muschietti's adaptation of Stephen King's 1986 best selling novel  IT has already shattered a numerous amount of records. Having already made $51 million dollars, IT has set a record for the biggest opening ever for a horror film. It is also the biggest opener ever in the beginning of September.  If that isn't enough IT has also surpassed Deadpool as being the biggest Friday ever for an R rated film.  Seeing that Paranormal Activity currently holds the record for the biggest overall weekend for a horror film ever at $52.6 million dollars, look for the papers to read that IT tore that record to shreds early Monday morning.


With all of these records being broken and set, it can't help but make one wonder if we're in for an era of Stephen King remakes. The truest fact about Hollywood is that its bottom line is the almighty dollar and what ever makes the most Benjamin's is what we'll see the most of on the silver screen. If Stephen King adaptations, remakes and reimaginings are what Hollywood thinks we the paying public want to see, then Stephen King is what we're going to get.

STAND BY ME, THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, THE GREEN MILE and THE MIST are all King adaptations that most love and feel were made right the first time.  Yet for the majority of King adaptations the general consensus is that they all had an excellent premise that failed to deliver in execution. Fans look back on these films and imagine with great enthusiasm what they could have been but recollect with bitterness as to what they actually were. With the success of IT we could be in for a feast of King movies so rich in quality and value that by the time we're done we're stuffed with satisfaction and delight.

We already know that IT: Chapter Two is in our future. It has also been confirmed that PET SEMATARY has been confirmed for a reimagining as well. What other King adaptations would we like to see?

MISERY

Although Kathy Bates gave both an Academy Award and Golden Globe winning performance as Anne Wilkes, the rest of the film falls a bit flat. Not that it is a bad film, because it isn't. It simply could be better. Like Tim Curry as Pennywise the Dancing Clown, topping Bates or even coming close to her will be to the level of difficulty a nose-hair below impossible. Yet like Bill Skarsgard, whoever the actress is that would get the part, would bring it to life in her own unique way. Already one of King's personal favorites, a remake could be even better.

THE TOMMYKNOCKERS

Much like the 1990 made for television miniseries of IT, the 1993 made for television miniseries of THE TOMMYKNOCKERS suffers from the same problems. The films strengths are in its story, and strong performances of Jimmy Smits, E.G. Marshall, John Astin, Robert Carradine and Joanna Cassidy. Yet being made for television meant a smaller budget for special effects, thus forcing for more exposition than visual and an unbalanced hinge between drama and horror that left viewers top heavy on the drama and rather empty handed on the horror.

A remake here could take an already good adaptation and propel it to the same heights as the first chapter of the reimagining of IT.  A bigger budget for special effects and the freedom of an R rated film could balance the level of horror and drama to give us the experience that the story was meant to be.

MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE/TRUCKS

There have already been two versions of Stephen King's TRUCKS.  First 1986's MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE and then 1997's made for television TRUCKS. Both films had their strengths but were mediocre in their own ways. Whereas MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE was over the top, silly and over-dramatic, TRUCKS is the polar opposite in being too serious, too mundane and having serious need for comic relief.  A happy medium between the two King variations would most likely result in a fun, successful box office hit.

SILVER BULLET

Even back in 1985, critic Felix Vasquez Jr referred to SILVER BULLET 's visual effects as outdated and critic Scott Weinberg thought the film while not bad seemed more like an after school special for teenagers than it did a horror film that belonged in theaters. Looking at it 32 years later, the special effects are quite silly and Nickelodeon's ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK produced more terrifying episodes.

This is a story that has great potential to be a great film and it would benefit from a remake. Better writing, mixed with better special effects could make for a mesmerizing story full of horror, excitement and heart that the 1985 film lacked.

CUJO 

This 1983 film adaptation of King's 1981 lacked the heart and soul of the novel. Whereas other King adaptations suffer from being heavy on the drama and light on the horror, this film did the opposite. It focused so strongly on making us afraid of a rabid St. Bernard that it forgets to pull us in with the mesmerizing and touching effect of King's story.  With greater focus on Cujo being a loyal, protective and loving dog who is driven crazy by the rabies, the audience could connect better with the story, thus leaving the theater with a mixture of lasting emotions, rather than simply feeling frightened for a few moments. Adding a perspective of the dog, as does the novel, to where when he is killing a human being, he believes he is killing the bat who gave him rabies, would add even greater effect.  This rather forgetful film could with the right writing and directing be one of King's best adaptations yet.

THE LANGOLIERS

This film had it all. It was written well, it was directed well, and it had an all star cast of well known and beloved actors. The mystery and suspense kept audiences glued to the screen for three hours in anticipation to see what happens. Then in a matter of minutes, it is all ruined by the most anti-climatic ending that a King adaptation has ever seen. (Some may argue that the giant spider in the second half of IT's 1990 miniseries was worse.)

It is sad that a rather good film is ruined by such a wretched ending. Poor special effects should not have that much emphasis on a film's reception, but this one did. A remake could easily fix that problem as well as condense the story down a bit to have a faster pace and a bit more energy along with its story.

CAT'S EYE 

Perhaps the film that could benefit the most from a remake/reimagining is 1985's CAT'S EYE which is essentially three stories meshed into one for the film. For those familiar with the film, there is little argument that the third story of the traveling cat is the most compelling. A remake, at least in the opinion of this blogger would be better suited to omit the first two stories altogether to give a stronger build and focus to the third. 85.5 million cats owned in the United States compared to 78 million owned dogs, gives testimony that cat lovers would flock to the theaters to see the one story of an heroic cat in the sea of what has been heroic dog movies.


Will King soon rule Hollywood with a series of remakes and reimaginings?  With the success of IT, the possibility is strong.